“One day, I’ll tell you about the moment I knew I was in love with you. Because I am, Kate. I’m madly in love with you. I know it deep in my bones,” he says, standing and pulling me into his arms.
His lips crash into mine and I part my mouth, awaiting the thrust of his tongue. I can’t get enough of his kisses. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to have enough of him.
He pulls away and touches his forehead to mine.
“I love you, Kate. I’ve been waiting to say it until you were ready. I didn’t want to scare you,” he whispers. “I don’t want to do anything to mess up what we have.”
“I love you, too,” I reply, softly kissing his forehead and jawline.
I let myself bask in the moment, choosing to ignore the lingering questions plaguing our relationship, about how we’ll handle our drastically different lifestyles, how we’ll stay connected with his schedule, and where we’ll live long-term. They’re all things that need to be worked out, just not today.
fifty-five
Although I’ma sweaty mess from walking home in the oppressive heat and humidity, nothing can dampen my spirits. During the past few weeks, my team landed another major client, and my boss let it slip that my promotion might happen sooner than expected. Everything is starting to fall into place in this new era.
It’s crazy to think how different my life was at the start of the year. How scared I was to make my own decisions, constantly doing whatever someone else wanted, so I didn’t rock the boat. Now I’m living the wayIwant. The past couple of months have shown me how much happiness can come from it. It’s why I won’t tolerate anyone walking all over me again. The good girl who tries to please everyone is long gone.
“I’m home,” I call out, stepping into the refreshing air conditioning that sends goosebumps down my arms. I drop my bag in the entryway and head toward the living room.
“It’s not ideal, Jason, and you know that. But you’re not really giving me much of a choice, are you? I’ll make it work. Email me the schedule,” Jake says, holding the phone to his ear and running his other hand through his thick hair as he paces.“It’s fine. I’ll talk to you later.” He hangs and plops himself on the couch, his arms on his knees as he tugs on his hair.
“Everything okay?” I ask tentatively. The coffee table is covered with his laptop, tablet, headphones, and a yellow legal pad with various crumpled-up pages strewn all over.
“Yes. No,” he groans. “I knew things were going to start getting hectic again. I just didn’t anticipate…” He averts his gaze from where I’m standing. “Jason promised to ease me back into traveling. Complete fucking opposite is happening.” He sinks into the couch cushion, setting his feet on the coffee table, not caring that it’s covered with other items.
“Oh,” I reply, unsure how to respond. We’ve talked about how crazy his schedule can be and how little control he often has over it. We knew this day was coming. We can’t live in this bubble forever.
His phone dings. I kick off my heels and sit next to him. He’s intently focused on his phone as his frustration grows.
“Fuck. He conveniently leftthatout of our conversation. Probably because he knew it would piss me off.” He drops his phone onto the couch and pulls my legs up until they rest on his lap. He starts rubbing my feet, eliciting a small moan of appreciation from me when his hands hit my tight muscles. It’s become part of our nightly routine that he insists on as I’m walking to and from work. And I’m definitely not complaining.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Give me a few minutes to calm down. Tell me about your day first,” he replies, his eyes softening as he looks at me.
“The team landed another huge client. It’s going to make things crazier, but it’ll be worth it for a chance to work with this brand.”
“I’m so proud of you, Kate. You are incredibly talented,” he says with a genuine smile. “They’re lucky to have you.”
I blush at his compliment, struggling to accept his praise. Usually, I deflect or quickly change the subject to avoid the awkwardness of how a compliment makes me feel. Jake challenges me to sit with it for a few minutes. Take pride in what has been said. Trust it’s the truth. Be grateful for the words.
“Thank you,” I murmur. Another small groan escapes my lips as his hands massage my arches. “My boss also mentioned another promotion might be on the horizon if I keep it up.”
“You deserve it. I know how hard you work. The creativity and organization you bring to it,” he says, winking at me. My cheeks redden, recalling our spreadsheet bet.
Jake lets out a sigh, placing his hands on top of my legs, slowly stroking my bare skin. I can see the mental gymnastics he’s doing, trying to figure out how to tell me the news bothering him.
“Jason promised I’d have a few more weeks until travel started up again,” he says, dragging a hand down his face. “That’s not the case. Apparently, I have commitments starting next week. I’ll be gone for almost two weeks before I can come back here for a couple of days.”
“It’s okay. We’ve talked about this. We knew it was coming,” I reply, trying to keep my emotions in check. My chest tightens at the thought of not seeing him every day. Not waking up in his arms. The reality of him leaving hits me like a crashing wave. This is going to be so much fucking harder than I imagined.
“I want to tell everyone to fuck off for the rest of the year. But no…responsibilities,” he groans. “Be an adult, they said. It’ll be fun, they said. Lies.”
I chuckle, recalling how much we wanted to be adults when we were in our teens. Before we realized that adulting is basically working nonstop, paying bills, and trying to figure out what’s for dinner. Rinse and repeat.
“I don’t want to be apart from you. How can I go two weeks without your touch? Your kiss?” He slowly drags a hand up my leg until he reaches my inner thigh and starts making a circular motion with his fingers. “I’m not sure I can sleep by myself anymore. You’re my weighted blanket.”
“You’ll be fine. The anticipation will make the time we spend together even sweeter.” I try to assuage his concerns and mine. “Plus, I’m sure I can find a few times to go with you over the next few months. Assuming you want a travel buddy,” I murmur, batting my eyelashes at him seductively.
