“Is this about the wedding? Do you want to make changes? You know I’m okay with whatever you want. You don’t even need to talk to me about it.”
For the love?—
Why can’t he let me talk? He’s mansplaining how I feel without having any idea what’s going on.
“You’re not understanding what I’m trying to say. This isn’t about my career or the wedding. It’s bigger than that,” I reply, taking one more deep breath and bracing myself. “I don’t think we should get married.”
His mouth falls open, his eyes widen. His brow furrows as he processes what I’ve said. It’s complete silence for a minute; neither of us daring to breathe too loudly.
“Okay. You want to postpone the wedding. We can do that. It might be hard to get our deposits back if we move the date, but I’m sure my lawyer can find loopholes in the contracts,” he explains calmly, reaching for his phone like he’s about to text his lawyer.
I gently place my hand on top of his phone. “I’m not talking about postponing the wedding. I don’t want to marryyou, Brian.” Tears immediately stream from my eyes as I shudder. “I’m so sorry.”
He quickly pulls his arm away, leaning back, like he’s trying to put as much physical space between us as possible. His previously serene face turns to one filled with anger. “This isn’t funny, Kate.” The muscle in his jaw flexes. “I get that you’reupset about the party, but you can’t joke about something like this.”
“I’m not joking. This has nothing to do with the party.”
“Then why? Why would you throw away five years completely out of the blue?” he yells, clenching his fists.
I flinch at the tone of his voice, coiling back until I hit the armrest with nowhere else to go. “I’m not happy. You can’t give me what I need.” My voice trembles. “What Ideserve.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
My body shudders as I wrap my arms around myself, gripping my shirt sleeves tightly to anchor me. “You don’t treat me like an equal partner. Everything in our relationship is on your terms. What you want, how you want it, and when. Any time I try to communicate my needs, you either don’t listen or act like my request is unreasonable.” I pause for a moment, inhaling and exhaling deeply while maintaining eye contact with him. “You don’t even make time to talk to me anymore. Do you know how much it hurts to have your fiancé not respond to your texts and rarely call? How lonely I’ve felt the past month?”
He clenches his jaw. “It’s my busy season. You know how hard it is for me to do anything but work during this time.”
“I do, but this isn’t only about the past month. It’s been going on for a while. I never…I never saw it clearly until now,” I reply, my body shaking with anger. “You put everyone and everything in your life before me. You always have. And I deserve to have someone inmylife who believes I’m the best part of their day. The best thing that’s ever happened to them. I don’t want to be someone’s afterthought. Not anymore.”
He stands, pacing the room, running his hands through his thick, dark brown hair. “You’ve been through a lot. I want to be supportive and understanding, but you’re pushing my limits.” He stops, staring directly at me. “We’ll take a break for a few weeks. Give you some space to deal with whatever’s going onemotionally, then we’ll have another discussion about the future of our relationship. I bet you’ll change your mind once you’ve calmed down.” He crosses his arms with his chin held high, confident he’s right.
“That’s not what I want, Brian. I’m not going to change my mind.”
“If you end our engagement, it’s over, Kate. For good,” he says sternly, gritting his teeth. “I won’t take you back.”
I nod, swallowing hard. I take a final deep breath, fully resolved to what I’m going to do next, and tug the engagement ring off my finger. I walk over to him and hold it out.
“You should take the ring back. I don’t want to keep it,” I say softly, tears staining my cheeks. “Take it.” I place the jewelry in Brian’s hand, closing his fingers around it. “I’m really sorry it didn’t work out between us.”
Brian doesn’t say a word as I take one final look at him before walking out the door. And out of his life forever.
twenty-eight
I haven’t stopped cryingsince I left Brian’s apartment. Even though I know this is the right decision, it doesn’t erase the pain of saying goodbye to the person you’ve loved for five years. The one you thought you’d spend a lifetime with.
Thankfully, it’s a short drive to my condo, where I plan to crash for the night before heading back to Southmount tomorrow. There’s no way I could make the hours-long drive back with all the emotional turmoil I’ve been through today. Talk about irony—ending my engagement on the same day as my engagement party. I sigh loudly, realizing how much I’ve added to my plate by canceling the wedding: all the vendors I’ll need to contact, the gifts I’ll have to return. It’s a small price to pay for standing up for myself and demanding to be treated how I deserve.
With trembling hands, I work to unlock the door to the condo. Only a few more seconds until I’m inside and can release the debilitating pain I’m feeling. Process the grief of ending my first-ever relationship and deal with the worry I have about ending up alone.
When the door swings open, a sense of relief washes over me, knowing I’m in a safe space and can let out everything I’m feeling without any repercussions.
“Oh my God!” Chelsi screams, jumping into the air and throwing her phone in my direction. “Holy shit, Kate! You scared the fuck out of me.” Her hand flies to her chest as she bends over, trying to catch her breath and still her pounding heart. “What are you doing here?”
“I broke up with Brian,” I croak, tossing my keys onto the counter and closing the door. “Ended our engagement. Our relationship. It’s all over.” A sob escapes my chest, my balance wavering as I slide down the closed door until I hit the floor.
“Oh, Kate,” she murmurs, rushing to my side, wrapping her arms tightly around me. “It’s going to be okay. It may not feel that way, but I promise you, it will get better.”
Chelsi sits next to me, her arm around me as I weep for what I’ve lost. She doesn’t say a word, just rubs my shoulder slowly to comfort me while I let out all the emotions I’ve kept in for so long. There were so many red flags I ignored because I was desperate to find someone to love me. Someone who wanted me in their life and wouldn’t leave. Well, the joke’s on me because I was at the bottom of Brian’s priority list.
