My chest feels tight.
Because now that I admitted it — even silently — it’s like the words engraved themselves onto me.
That’s really bad.
It’s wrong.
It’s messed up.
It’s a mistake.
It’s not right.
It’s right.
It’s perfect.
It’s-
Damn my stupid, stupid heart.
“Hey, you good-” Yana walks in and stops when she sees me.
“Yep.” It comes out in a whisper. I try to get up and wobble, but manage to stand straight. “Just dizzy.”
“Right…” she gives me a concerned look. “You want to eat something before we go?”
“Yeah,” I echo.
My stomach is gone.
If I eat anything right now, it will probably plummet to the bottom of my legs, because there is nothing left inside of me.
My thoughts are loud.
And before I can stop myself, I say it.
Barely above a breath.
“I think I like him.”
“Huh?” Yana glances over, confused.
“Nothing,” I say quickly, walking out. My heart is pounding like it’s trying to escape.
The hallway feels cold.
I let myself admit it once.
I’d fallen for him.
That’s it, because he’s no longer mine to fall for anymore.
I shut my door behind me and just stand there. For a second, I don’t move.
The silence feels like a punch after the noise of Yana’s music.
Too still and too sharp.
