Look at you, so ugly.
Inside, you are rotting. Outside, you are cracking.
Be careful, Tilly, you are playing dangerous games.
If someone finds out, you won’t be nice, funny Tilly anymore.
Not that you currently are.
They see the fake you. Not the real one.
If you opened up, all they would find is decaying leftovers of someone who used to be beautiful.
Many, many years ago, before the lying made you ugly.
Oh well, you can’t go back to the past, can you?
Now you have to cover up your mistakes.
How pathetic is that?
Tilly the liar.
Tilly the trickster.
Tilly, the ugly, ugly girl.
Tilly, the pathetic disgrace.
Tilly, the rotting soul.
Tilly, the fake mask.
Chapter 5
Tilly
“I promise, he’s being weird to everyone,” Yana says, wrapping me in a hug.
“Are yousurehe doesn’t hate me? What if I said something wrong? Or maybe he’s mad that I got mad at him whenI’mthe one who hurt him?” My voice cracked. “Oh my God, what if I ruined everything?”
My mind is spiraling with a bunch of thoughts. It feels like a string that keeps coming, and it’s all tangled up.
As much as I am mad at Luca right now, I feel so,sohorrible for our fight.
I hate fights because I always feel like I’m the reason for everything bad that is happening to me, and then I justify my torture as something I deserve because I’m at fault.
“Calm down, Tills.” Yana squeezes my shoulders. “He doesn’t hate you. Nobody knows what’s up with him—not even Matt, and that boy’s basically Luca’s twin.” She gives me a soft smile.
“And youdefinitelydidn’t ruin the friendship.”
I know I’m probably overreacting, but my mind can’t be tamed, especially now.
“I’m gonna take a shower. If you need to spiral, do it now, because when I come back, you are not allowed to think about that boy anymore.”
When she leaves, I immediately grab my phone.
Three notifications.
