Yana gasps dramatically. “Oh no, it’s happening. She’s entering her love-sick phase.”
“Shut up!” I laugh, covering my face with a pillow. “I’m not.”
“Yes, you are!” Zara grabbed another pillow and lightly smacked me with it. “That’s your ‘I love Luca’ smile!”
I giggle. “There’s no such thing as a love smile!”
“Oh, there totally is,” Yana says, pointing accusingly. “Your eyes do that sparkly thing, and you bite your lip like you’re in some music video.”
I bury my face in the blanket. “You guys are literally the worst.”
“Wrong,” Zara says, smirking. “We’re the best. Because we’re the only ones who can call you out when you glow like a lightbulb.”
I peek out from the pillow, cheeks burning. “Okay, I wasn’t lying, though.”
“Girl, you said ‘yeah, they do exist’ while jumping on the moon in your head.”
Zara mimicks me in an exaggerated dreamy tone: “‘Yeah… they do…’ insert faraway gaze and background music.”
“You guys suck.”
“Maybe,” Zara grins. “But admit it, he’s your Peter Kavinsky.”
I don’t have to say anything because smiling that wide is basically a confession already.
As much as I always swore I would never let a man steal me away as Lara Jean did, I might be changing my mind, because Luca is my Peter to my Lara, and I could not have been happier.
We keep watching, the three of us huddled under the same blanket, occasionally screaming when something gets good.
For a while, everything is easy.
The room smells like popcorn and strawberry face masks.
Zara has glitter on her cheeks.
Yana is half-buried in a mountain of pillows.
The movie flickers softly on the wall, and I smile as I see it from a different point of view.
I see Lara feel, and instead of screaming to do or not do something, I see exactly why she makes her choices.
Falling is talked about like you just close your eyes and drift off a cliff into the clouds, with a smile on your face.
In reality, it feels more like jumping off a scary edge, not seeing the bottom, and knowing the crash will be life-threatening.
It’s scary, letting yourself go. But love goes hand in hand with trust, and I trust Luca to be with me through the fall.
Once the movie ends, we lie down and stay silent for a while, and realize what I have to tell them.
As much as I wish I could skip this step, I know they deserve to know, and I deserve to tell them.
“Guys, I need to tell you something,” my voice comes out hoarse from staying quiet for so long.
“What’s up?” Yana sits up, and Zara turns to me.
“You okay?” she mutters.
“Remember when I told you I’ve not been sleeping well from my ‘period’?” I start, picking at a loose thread on my blanket.
