We stand there, hearts pounding out of sync, everything we can’t say sitting heavy in the air.
When I finally pull back just enough to see her face—red, tear-streaked, but hers—I know one thing for sure.
I’m never walking away again.
You are undeserving of all of this.
How about you stay away from love and go back to your corner of hate?
Hate and love don’t go hand in hand, Tilly, so how about you stay on your side?
How can someone love a person when that person is so full of undefined flaws?
The answer is it’s impossible, so remember then Tilly.
Love is inevitably not for you.
Chapter 25
Tilly
I’m still in his arms when I realize I’m crying again.
I pull back a little, enough to see his face. His eyes are red too, like he’s been fighting the same war inside.
He picks me up and walks us inside the room. He puts me on the bed and sits across from me on my desk chair.
This setup reminds me of when I went to him after the text message.
God, that feels ages ago.
“Tilly, I need you to tell me something honestly.” he looks at me, and I shiver.
“Ok.” I nod, but not exactly sure why.
“You hate crying. I know that, so don’t try to deny it. But… why?”
Shoot, shoot, shoot.
“I don’t know Luca.” I look away.
I feel his fingers on my chin as he gently tilts it to force me to look at him.
One singular tear slips down, and he swipes it away with his thumb.
“Please.” He looks at me earnestly, and I breathe in.
“Because it makes me feel icky. Every tear that falls burns me, and I feel like it slowly digs a line down my face, scarring me.”
He clenches his eyes shut like I’m hurting him.
“I feel weak, and helpless, and broken. Like every tear drags a part of me down until I can’t get up.”
“Oh, Tilly,” he guts up and sits next to me, pulling me into a hug.
He holds my head to his chest, and I let his heartbeat calm me down.
“You have no idea how badly it hurts when you talk about yourself like that,” he whispers against my hair.
