Wycke didn’t have time to scream when Piers took him down. Screaming required some warning. And the breath Piers knocked out of him.
Crash! Thud!”Ooomph!” took him from standing to lying on the dirty floor. A fireball sailed uselessly overhead. Then…
Nothing. Or rather, nothing but the heavy weight pressing down on him. He gazed upward—straight into the eyes of an elf. An elf, holding a baseball bat at the ready.
“No! Wait! They’re with us!” Wycke knew that voice. Jess the Colorful crouched down next to him. Or rather… them.
The weight covering Wycke let out a groan.
“What the ever-loving fuck just happened?” Piers rolled away, lying on his back with an arm thrown over his eyes.
“I happened,” Chynne said, stepping out of the shadows of the… where in the lower levels of infinity were they? “Piers must want something desperately to initiate a spell, and he hasn’t learned to use his magic consistently on himself. I sent out a family summons, drawing you, Wycke, to your sister and bringing along Piers for the ride. No hard feelings for ruining your landing?” Chynne stared down at Piers.
Piers let out a long groan, squeezing his temples with both hands. “Let me wrap my head around the whole ‘I just teleported in the middle of an epic mage battle’ thing first, okay?”
Chynne bobbed a curt nod. “Fair enough. Don’t take too long, though. I’m sure to offend you many more times before this night ends, and the things you hold grudges about may become a little convoluted.”
Piers rolled his gaze upward to Jess. “What did he say?”
Jess patted his shoulder. “When your cat can do what yours just did, grin and nod, sweetie, grin and nod.”
“I amnothis cat,” Chynne spat.
“What a shame, because you’re the most beautiful cat I’ve ever seen.” Jess stroked a hand down Chynne’s back.
Chynne preened.
What the fuck? If Wycke tried that move, he’d pull back a bloody stump. He rolled to his back, scanning the room. “Where are we?”
“Paddy O’Malley’s Coffee and Nibbles,” Jess said, waving a hand toward a sign behind the bar. Bar. Tables. Chairs.
And an elf. Talking to an ogre. Wycke pled with the universe. “I take it back! I don’t want adventure. Just make things normal again.”
“Normal. As in magical travel? Suddenly disappearing from a warehouse and reappearing in a coffee shop? A thank-God-they-were-closed coffee shop? Or normal as in, a talking cat who can do magical travel shit?” Jess scowled.
“In my defense,” Chynne said, “I only transported Wycke and Piers. Piers did the rest.”
“He what? Get out! No way!” Jess skewered Piers with a fierce gaze. “Mr. Can’t-Get-The-Lid-Off-The-Pickles has honest-to-goodness magic?”
“And a familiar,” Chynne said, butting his head against Jess’s hand. “Pets. All the pets. Never start something you don’t intend to finish.”
Jess resumed scratching the familiar’s head.
Chynne purred—actually purred!
Excellent blackmail material for later. Wycke scooted on his butt, propping against a wall. “No, no, no, no, no. This isn’t happening.” He eyed Saris. “You told me when I was younger that I’d lose my mind if I ever visited the human realm.”
“Time out!” shouted the elf, forming the time-out sign with one hand and the baseball bat. “Dude, you thinkyou’rehaving a bad day?” He nodded at the chaos in the coffee shop. “I’m minding my own business, placing orders for next week, and bang! People start appearing! I left Tirra Neu to get away from mages and whatever the hell you’re calling yourselves these days.”
“Sorcerers,” Chynne side-whispered from behind one paw.
“Sorcerers!” The elf dropped the bat and buried his face in his hands. “There goes the fucking neighborhood.”
Jess patted Chynne’s head. “I think the poor guy needs help. Raincheck on the scritches?”
The ogre sat at the bar throughout the exchange, dunking cookies into something in a cup and popping them into his mouth. “What?” he said around a mouth full of cookies. “This is the most fun I’ve had in ages.”
Saris knelt next to Wycke, Piers on his other side. Piers patted Wycke’s face. “Don’t freak out on me now, dude. It’s my turn. You say that guy was your brother?”
