“Anyway, Monica grew attached to Irene, wishing they were kin in truth, and she never quite grasped why you didn’t come around when you’d been blessed with such a fantastic aunt.”
Old remorse slithered awake in Seth’s gut. “I would have loved to have spent time down here, but Aunt Irene never once tried to contact me. She didn’t even call me on my birthday.” Seth hated how childish he sounded, but year after year, he’d hoped for something, and each year he’d eaten birthday cake with his grandmother and gone to bed disillusioned. No party, no gifts except from Nana, and no cards bearing a Georgia return address. Years of disappointment ate at him, leaving him feeling unloved and unwanted. And now, to find out she took in another kid when she didn’t even have time for Seth?
“The old harpy never ’fessed up, huh?”
“What?”
“I’m sorry; I shouldn’t speak ill of the dead, but, Seth, the only reason Irene didn’t contact you was because your grandmother forbade it.”
“She what? She told me that after my father died, Aunt Irene had no further use for me!” Seth pictured his grandmother, lower lip quivering when she’d told him the news.
“No, Seth. I’m not sure precisely what she told you or why; however, the truth is she threatened Irene.”
“Threatened? With what?”
A scarlet flush tinged Dustin’s cheeks, revealing more anger than embarrassment. “Irene never told me the exact words, she only said your grandmother wouldn’t permit her to see you or talk to you. Irene wrote you letters; I mailed them for her myself. And yes, she did send birthday cards, usually with money enclosed. I take it you never received them.”
“No, I didn’t.” Seth had witnessed his grandmother’s controlling side on many occasions, and yes, she’d resorted to manipulation to get her way. But to keep Seth from his only other living relative?
“Monica viewed the situation from the other side, how you received gifts and never sent a thank-you card. She only witnessed how much it hurt Irene not to have you in her life. And Monica, pretty much thrown away by her family, envied you your wonderful aunt. She’s not the only one. Over the years, Irene took in many kids in similar situations, some for a short time while she sorted things out with their parents, others on a more permanent basis, like Monica.”
Dustin paused to take a bite of his meal, chewing slowly. “Mmmm… this place has the best slaw!”
Seth saw the stalling tactic for what it was. “Why didn’t you write to me?” If his heart squeezed any harder, it’d explode.
“I did! Nearly every week when you first left. But you never wrote back, or returned my phone calls the few times my folks let me dial long distance.”
“You did?” Seth’s mind reeled. All this time he thought he’d been forgotten. He remembered how his grandmother wouldn’t meet his eyes when he asked about his old friend. The pieces fell into place.
“Seth, people have their reasons for why they make the choices they do. Your grandmother is no different. I’m sure she convinced herself that she was protecting you.”
“But why? She knew how lonely I was, how much it hurt me to leave here. Why would she lie to me?”
“I can’t speak for your grandmother, but I promise you, youweremissed.”
Twenty years of misconceptions left Seth with a lot to deal with. “My old roomis exactly like I left it.”
Dustin nodded. “Irene held out hope ’til the end that you’d come back someday.”
“Why didn’t she contact me after Nana died?”
“She’d been fighting the good fight herself since then. Besides, you lived in Chicago, and via a social media site, she watched you from afar. You seemed happy, and she didn’t want to take you away from your home and friends.”
Seth recalled his many profile pages, the beautiful lies he’d concocted to make himself appear more interesting, less of a loser. “Oh my God! If she went to my blog, she knew I was gay!” Another possibility presented itself for her lack of interest in Seth—disgust.
“Yeah, and she hoped you’d find the man of your dreams. I told you, she defended me. Irene McDaniel was the kindest, most accepting woman I’ve ever met. She loved you. Her last thoughts were of you.”
Seth’s eyes burned, and a knot formed in his chest. He didn’t think either had anything to do with spicy barbeque sauce. A tear escaped his control, spilling down his cheek.
“Now look at me. I’ve gone and upset you.” Dustin handed over a napkin. “Are you finished eating?”
Seth bobbed his head, wiping at his eyes with the napkin. Extracting a wad of cash from his wallet, Dustin peeled off a few bills, securing them under his plate. “C’mon. Let’s take a walk.”
The sun was beginning to set when Dustin led Seth down a flight of steps, across a neatly manicured lawn, and to the bank of a small lake. A trio of ducks glided across the calm surface. “The creek behind your house feeds into this.” Dustin stopped at a cement bench, sitting down and gesturing for Seth to do the same. “I’ve always loved it here. So peaceful.”
Shoulder to shoulder, the heat radiated off Dustin’s body and suddenly Seth felt coldness inside at odds with the sticky summer heat. His own wave of envy consumed him; for Dustin, Monica, and anyone else who’d basked in his aunt’s love. “I missed out on a lot.”
“Yes, you did, and I’m sorry for that. Did you know your ancestors were some of the first folks to settle here? Hell, half the town wanted to name the place McDanielville.”
