The scary vision known as Tazlina slapped her thighs together. The resulting clap rivaled thunder. Vik’s nuts tried to climb inside his body forprotection.
“Mom, I hate to say this, but being able to crack nuts with her thighs isn’t the kind of thing a manwants.”
“It’s not?” Disappointment pulled the corners of his mother’s mouthdown.
For the first time Vik noticed the tiny lines around her mouth and eyes. She wasn’t getting any younger, and she wanted granddemons. While he wasn’t opposed to adopting a little imp or two, he’d no desire to make one himself. But how could he get out of this situation without being banished from the realm? He loved his life. He played video games all day, ordered Hell’s equivalent of room service, and left his clothes on the floor, only to return in the evening to a clean apartment. When he got bored he paid a visit to Las Vegas, a place sinful enough to sport twenty-seven different portals to the netherworld. For all its “anything goes” reputation, the Sixth Level of Hell, a veritable haven of wickedness, lacked gay bars, and princes and princesses were expected to carry on familylines.
Maybe… “I kind of have someone in mind,” Vik blurted before thinking things through. Yeah, buy her off with a story of unrequited love. Get her sympathies up for her poor little half-humanoffspring.
“Oh really?” The sparkle returned to his mother’s eyes a second before they turned to hardened flint—literally. “Not just anyone is good enough for my little boy, you know. She must be as beautiful and resourceful as Kiana, and as able to defend herself, you, and your young, asTazlina.”
Oh good. Vik could easily drag out his search for centuries. “Sure, Mom, no problem.” Vik’s steadily building stress began tosubside.
“And, you have one earth day to make a match, or I’ll do it for you.” She released her grip and folded her arms across her chest. Vik knew the gesture well. There’d be no moving her once she made up hermind.
Oh,Home!
* * *
It wasn’tas if Vik didn’t long for a mate, for he’d one day rule the sixth level—no easy task for a single guy. But taking a mate meant accepting full responsibility for his station as heir. Due to the heart he shouldn’t have, torturing lost souls for all eternity wasn’t high up on his list of things he wanted to do with hislife.
He set down the shot glass and put the bottle of tequila to hislips.
The only mate he’d ever wanted now resided behind an impenetrable wall of his mother’s creation. For Diomede he’d gladly tie himself to another for all eternity, and be satisfied with one guy. If he lived through telling his mother, thatis.
He tossed the now empty bottle to the floor and stomped around his apartment. What could he do? A visit to the surface, that’s what he needed—he always did his best thinking up there. But how could he visit the surface again after the whole tabloidnightmare?
He logged onto the top-secret Internet connection (top secret to no one but his mother) and tapped into one of his favorite sites:Howler—for demon on demon action. A cute little goth twink’s picture popped up the moment he logged on. A goth twink 3,000-year-old demon, hiding out in the humanworld.
“How’s it going, Big Red?” A tag claimed the guy to be HOTDMN27, not to be confused with HOTDMN1 to 26, or 28 through 997,416. His surface name wasRalph.
Vik wasn’t the only half-human in the realm. “Not so good,” Vik typed back. “Mom wants me to getmarried.”
“Bummer. Didn’t you tell her you likecock?”
“And have her incinerate any possible dates? Not good for my lovelife.”
“You never know until you tellher.”
“Uh-huh. And why haven’t you been home in 2,000years?”
“That’s different,” the fake twink replied. “You don’t have myparents.”
No, Vik didn’t. And if he did, he’d be hiding too. “So, I gotta choose someone better than who my mother wants for me, or somehow manage to convince her to give me moretime.”
“No problem, pal. You don’t have to find someone better, you only have to convince her they’rebetter.”
“And how do I dothat?”
“Come on up, and I’llhelp.”
“I don’t look like you. I might be spotted again.” Ralph’s naturally brownish tones easily blended with the heavy fake tans often found inVegas.
“Dude, where we’re going, you’ll fit right in. We’ll find someone to take your mind off your troubles while we figure things out. Who knows? We might even find a guy so awesome even your mother will accept you having a malemate.”
Home would freeze over first. “Do you really think so?” Because Vik suredidn’t.
“Times, they are a changing. Sooner or later, your mom has to get with theprogram.”
If only. “Coming right up.” The night was young. Anything could happen. After all, Vik had a full day,right?
