God, the kid looks so much like Max that it makes my heart hurt. Fuck, this shouldn’t be so hard. I haven’t been able to go to the main lodge since Greg found out about us, and now, well, everything just fucking sucks.
With Lennox hovering, no matter how many times I try to tell her not to worry, I don’t have time to bethatlonely.
“Hey, Benny, you want to take them back up to the lodge for me?”
“You sure you don’t want to do it?” he asks.
I pin him with a look that tells him I’m his boss and he needs to do what I say. I guess there are some perks to being the head man in charge out here. Instead of going back to my office and doing the paperwork that can wait until later, I head back out to the barn and find Storm. I’m sure Kade could use some help checking the cattle. There’s plenty of time to help him and get a good ride in between guests.
Anything to not have to go to the lodge and see Joey.
I was doing just fine on my own until Joey came into my life. Then she showed me everything I was missing—love, comfort, intimacy—and now, I can’t imagine not having it in my life. Not havingherin my life.
Putting my foot in the stirrup, I swing my leg over Storm and it’s like he knows exactly where I need to go. I push him harder and faster than I usually do, but he can take it. With each pound of his hooves against the ground, it helps to push the swirling thoughts from my head. I love being out at this part of the ranch. Everything back here is quiet. I don’t have to worry about bumping into people. It’s just me, Storm, and the field sprawled out before me.
It’s days like this that I’m really fucking thankful that Kade didn’t sell this place. I don’t think it would be what it is now without him. It’s a place I’ll never want to leave. Even if things hurt right now.
So much for not letting my thoughts go back to Joey. Cresting over the hill, I spot all the cows lazily munching on the grass. After all the issues we had with getting them secured in the fence last year, it’s nice to see they’re all where they should be. I stop and take a second to breathe in the cool, fall air, letting the sun warm my skin. Yeah, this feels really fucking good.
“I thought I might find you out here.”
Turning my head, I see Kade riding up on Lollipop and stopping next to me.
He’s by himself, which is a rarity nowadays. If he’s not with Presley, he’s usually taking Poppy out for a ride.
“What are you doing out here?” I ask.
“Technically I own the place and I can go wherever I want.”
I smirk at him. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Well, when Benny brought everyone else up and said you had gone back out, I figured you might need someone to talk to.”
“And what am I supposed to do? Dump my problems on someone who’s twenty years younger than I am?”
“You know, you say that like it’s a bad thing. I’m actually a really good listener.” Kade smiles back at me.
“Do you really want to hear my problems?”
“Would it help if I told you I already know what happened because of Presley?”
I groan, scrubbing a hand down my face. My beard is growing in because I haven’t bothered to shave it in the last week.
“I swear, do women tell each other everything?”
Kade nods. “Yes. Having a daughter, I think you should know this.”
“Lennox isn’t exactly an oversharer about what happens in her life.”
“Poppy better not get that way.”
I glance over at him before turning back to the pasture.
“Is she at the stage where she tells you everything?” I laugh.
He nods. “Even the things I don’t want to hear.”
“She’s six. What don’t you want to hear?”
