I took it from him and read what he’d sent:Took off work—going to the zoo to get to know Max better. Anja will accompany us. Let me know if this is a problem. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable with any of this. 9:37 AM
Shaking my head, I handed the phone back. So he really hadn’t been trying to hide anything about his day with Anja—or Max, rather. In fact, he’d given me fair warning and tried to make sure it wouldn’t upset me. He’d been open and honest, just like I’d wanted.
I felt myself relax a little. The text did nothing to change the fact that the three of them looked like the perfect, happy family together, but at least it seemed like he hadn’t sat me down just now to break up with me. Not tonight, anyway.
“Will you sit with me, please?” he asked, gesturing to the couch.
Nodding, I rose from the chair and settled in beside him. “So how was it?” I asked. “With Max?”
“It was…such a good day,” Stefan said, almost in wonder.
He seemed oblivious to the turmoil I was feeling inside, but I set aside my emotions and leaned closer to listen. This wasn’t about me. This was about Stefan and his kid. Supporting their relationship wasn’t the problem; I just wish I knew where I fit into my husband’s new life.
“That’s great,” I said, and meant it. “I’m glad you’re getting a chance to know him.”
Stefan briefly filled me in on the conversation he’d had with Anja last night, saying she’d confessed to using her pregnancy as a bargaining chip with Konstantin, as a way to leave KZ Modeling and start a new life—not in Europe, but right here in the States. My father-in-law had been more than happy to oblige, in return for Anja’s silence and cooperation in her own disappearance. In the process, he’d been able to ensure that Stefan followed in his footsteps and stayed on the path to joining forces with KZM. Sounded like a win for everyone involved. Except my husband.
“I’m sorry she hid all of this from you,” I said. “Max, especially. And for such a long time. You’ve been through so much.”
He shrugged. “In the end, it doesn’t matter. The important thing is that she brought my kid back to me. Everything between me and Anja died a long time ago, but Max—he’s everything. You know how smart he is? He can name every kind of dinosaur. He gave me a lecture about the functions of camouflage!”
I couldn’t help smiling. It was obvious that Stefan was smitten with his kid. “He sounds pretty brilliant,” I said, meaning it. “I bet he’s a lot of fun to be around.”
“To be honest, I didn’t know if I was ready to be a father. Especially considering the way I was raised…”
He let his words trail off, staring into the distance, probably replaying the day he’d had. I took his hand, squeezing it gently. My heart went out to him. To the child he’d once been and the man he’d grown into today. “Oh, Stefan. That’s not what defines you. When it comes to being a parent, you get to make all your own choices. And I know they’d be good ones.”
Fatherhood would suit him. I’d already pictured it, envisioned how he would be with his kids. Strict, but loving. He would support them, encourage them to be their best selves. Do everything in his power to care for them and keep them safe and protected.
“I think I’m really ready,” he finally said, his gaze searching mine, a look of determination in his eyes. “I want to do right by my kid. Be a good dad.”
“You’re going to be great at it,” I told him. And I meant it. It was endearing to hear him talk about the time he’d spent with Max, though the fact that I’d had nothing to do with Stefan’s new role was bittersweet. It made me ache that I hadn’t been a part of it. “I would’ve loved to have seen you with him today,” I added.
Stefan nodded. “I wish you’d been there, too. But it was probably better that you weren’t. Even Anja hung back all day, so the kid and I could have our one-on-one time.”
His words hurt, but at least he was being honest. Logically, I knew I would have just gotten in the way. But the reality of our situation stung.
“So what now?” I asked. “When will you see him again? This is just step one, right?”
“Right. So Anja wants us to get together tomorrow night, so we can all have dinner with my dad.” He shot me a look, as if trying to gauge my reaction.
“Okay…I guess I can handle that.” Dinner with Konstantin was far from the top of my list of favorite activities, but I’d manage. I could tell Stefan was still hesitating. “What else?”
He squeezed my hand as he spoke. “She said it might be too many new people if you were there too. But I told her that you’re my wife and I want you there with me. That we’re a package deal.”
“Great. I’ll definitely be there, then,” I said brightly, forcing a smile.
Anja’s suggestion seemed cruel, but I had to admit it made sense. Max was a child, caught in the middle of a lot of confusing things. The last thing he needed was another new face added into the mix.
“You have nothing to worry about,” Stefan said. “Anja’s just being overprotective.”
“I mean, I can see her point,” I said. “It’s a lot of strangers for a kid to be meeting all at once.”
“Max will be fine,” Stefan said breezily. “He’s a little shy at first, but he warms up fast. Just ask him what his favorite dinosaur is, and you guys will be best friends in no time.”
His reassuring smile did little to assuage the anxiety I was trying to hide. Because despite my husband’s efforts to keep me included, I knew I’d still be the third wheel. I could feel it more and more as this whole thing developed. There just wasn’t a place for me.
EvenThe Dirtseemed to think Stefan looked better with his shiny new insta-family. And he’d really been in love with Anja once upon a time—she’d been his first love. He’d cared enough for her all these years to continue searching for her, chasing after her. And now he finally had her back. Along with an adorable child. What else did he need?
