She laughed. “My friends call me Annette. But Anja is good. It’s nice to hear it again.”
“Okay. So. The reason I’m calling is because I’ve given it some thought, and I feel like we should spend some time together,” I began.
“Yes of course,” she said eagerly. “Max too?”
“Max is the only reason we have to spend any time together,” I said. “And if he was over eighteen, I would be calling him, not you.”
I wasn’t trying to be harsh, but I wanted to be clear with her from the beginning. This wasn’t about her and me. This wasn’t about what we’d had or even about the declaration of love she had dropped at my feet last night. This was about Max. This was about our son.
“Okay,” Anja said, but some of the happiness had gone out of her voice. “I understand.”
“I took the day off,” I went on. “Pick a place we can go. Somewhere Max would like.”
“Somewhere Max would like,” Anja repeated slowly, taking a moment to think. “Why don’t we go to the zoo? He loves animals. Those are his favorite channels on TV, too.”
I filed away this information in my mind for later, committed to learning everything I could about my son. It would also help me break the ice when I saw him. Part of me wanted to beg Anja for a full run-down, to take notes on all his likes and dislikes, to get whatever information I could that would make it easier to build a relationship with the kid. But I also wanted to learn about him on my own. Do the hard work myself. Let Max tell me what he liked, and show me who he was. Children were more complicated than people gave them credit for, but I was willing to take the time to figure him out. Hopefully he’d feel the same about me.
“I’ll send a car over to pick you up at my dad’s place,” I told her. “My driver will wait at the curb. Meet me at the front gates.” I hung up before she could say anything else.
Maybe it was cold, maybe it was cruel, but Anja’s feelings weren’t my priority right now.
Tori’s were. Unfortunately, she’d left that morning without giving me a clear understanding of what she needed or wanted from me. I had no idea what to do. But as I’d learned in the past, when it came to Tori, she valued honesty and openness. I could manage that.
Quickly I texted her, telling her what I was doing with my day.
Took off work—going to the zoo to get to know Max better. Anja will accompany us. Let me know if this is a problem. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable with any of this.
I waited for a response. And waited.
Nothing.
I knew she was in class, but I couldn’t wait all day. I also couldn’t imagine she’d have a problem with my plans, and I hated the idea of canceling on my kid last minute. I kept an eye on my cell until I had to walk out the door to meet Anja and Max, but Tori never replied.
Stefan
Chapter 7
The hardest thing about trying to figure out this whole dad thing was that my own had never provided much of an example. Growing up motherless in my father’s house, I’d learned early on that his responsibilities included putting a roof over his kids’ heads and meals on the table—any needs we had beyond that were best met by anyone else but him. Looking back, I couldn’t help wondering what my childhood would have been like if I’d had the kind of dad who was around more, who took me to Cubs games or encouraged me to join the Boy Scouts or even just showed up once in a while for school plays or feigned interest in my model planes. I’d grown up so fast and buried my feelings for so long that I was only now starting to realize how much it had affected me. But it wouldn’t do any good to dwell on it. It was time to step up.
“Welcome to the Brookfield Zoo,” the employee at the ticket counter said, his voice crackling through the speaker in the glass divider.
“Three tickets, please,” I said. “One—no, two adult—and one child admission.”
I slid my card across the counter and the employee swiped it, slid it back to me, and smiled as the tickets printed out.
“Have a great day with your family,” he said, passing me the tickets along with a map.
For a moment I froze, the word practically knocking the wind out of me.My family.
“Sir?” he said. “You need something else?”
“Uh, no. Thank you. I’m great,” I said, shuffling away.
Family. I had a family now. Tori was my family, and obviously so were the Zorics, both immediate and extended. But this kid made me the head of my own little clan—Max was the first of my bloodline. It was wild.
Map and tickets in hand, I went back and stood at the front gates of the zoo, waiting for Anja and Max. I saw families of all kinds, nannies pushing babies in strollers, older folks with their grandkids, a few school groups all lined up in their bright colored coats. I felt out of place in my suit and tie. Everyone else was dressed casually, and even though the day was warm for November, I saw a variety of mismatched hats, scarves, and gloves. Still, this was who I was. Professional, put-together, buttoned-up.
Thinking better of it, I took off my tie and slipped it into my coat pocket. The last thing I wanted to do was intimidate my kid.
