After he finishes chewing, he says, “It’s not so bad. I like what I’m learning, but sometimes the other students drive me crazy, and I hate having to hide who I really am. You thinking about going?”
I scoff out a laugh. “What’s the point? My family barely lets me off the property. I have no idea how I’d ever be allowed to actually have a career. They’re too worried someone would take me. You know, like what happened to Talia.”
“It’s tough,” he agrees. “They want to keep you safe, but it makes you feel like you’re in a prison.”
When I raise a surprised brow at him, he just shrugs a shoulder and says, “I have a sister, and I’m very close to my female cousins. I heard all about how much they hated things while we were growing up.”
“It didn’t change anything, though, did it?” I ask.
The corner of his mouth lifts the tiniest bit. “No, it didn’t. It wasn’t worth the risk. Too much shit happens to them even when they are surrounded by bodyguards. I can’t imagine what it would be like if they just went out on their own.”
“I heard you all let Mia join. That’s something at least.”
Ev lets out an easygoing laugh. “Mia was never going to back down from that.” He studies me for a second before asking, “You want to join your family’s Bratva?”
I think about it, but as much as I love my adrenaline highs, I know I’m not a killer. I may be my dad’s daughter, but apparently I’m the only one that didn’t come out of the womb with the urge to grab a knife and sink it into someone’s flesh.
“No,” I admit. “I don’t think I’m cut out for it.”
I swear I see a flash of relief in his eyes before he says, “That’s probably for the best,” and then takes another bite.
While he eats, I scan the crowd around us, trying to discreetly spot Damien. I find him standing by Bran and Misha. The good thing about ASL is that I can eavesdrop from across the room. Iwatch their hands, letting the conversation play out while I try not to make it too obvious that I’m staring. Damien has gotten good with signing. He makes mistakes every now and then, but everyone who’s learning does. There’s no way not to, and Bran is an excellent teacher. He has the patience of a saint and only corrects if it’s necessary.
I cover my smile with my last bite of pie when I see they’ve made arrangements to ride later on tonight. Damien is standing with his back to me, and when I catch Bran’s eye, I quickly sign,I’m coming too. He grins and nods, letting me know he saw me.
“Uh-oh,” Ev says, setting the plate aside and reaching for the bowl of ice cream. “What plans are they making over there?”
I don’t even try to hide my excitement when I look over and say, “Night ride.”
“Thank fuck. I thought you were going to say surfing. Seriously, Sitka, we need your help keeping our asses out of the water.”
I want to tell him that I can’t help him out with that because I’m dying to see his cousin in a wetsuit, but I can’t do that, so I settle on, “I’ll try my best,” knowing I won’t be trying very hard at all.
He seems to know I’m lying because he groans and says, “I think I’m going to regret coming on this trip, but Damien was pretty adamant about it. He really wanted to visit.”
I feel like he’s trying to tell me something, but before I can make a subtle attempt at digging for answers, Allie comes over and stands in front of us with a big plate of food in her hands. She eyes the space between us, and I can tell she’s really debating it. Munching on a chip, she gives me a knowing look and a soft shake of her head to make it clear the pain isn’t worth it. All three of our asses are still sore. I’m still slathering mine in aloe vera, but it still stings like a bitch.
“You guys going riding later?” she asks.
“I am,” I say and Ev nods and says, “Count me in.”
Allie keeps eating as she looks over her shoulder at where the guys are still standing around talking. With her eyes still on them, she says, “I’ll come too.”
“Do you ride?” Ev asks her.
She turns back to us with a grin on her face. “Hell no, but I can handle a four-wheeler. I’m much better with anything that has more than two wheels. I like excitement as much as the next person, but I’m pretty sure I’d go flying off a cliff if I tried to ride on my own.”
“Maybe you can get Yulia to ride with you,” I offer, knowing she won’t be getting on a bike tonight either.
Chewing, she nods and then shoots me a look when Ev glances down. She gives me an exaggerated eyebrow wiggle and then looks at Damien’s cousin and eyes him appreciatively. I’m relieved when he looks back at us and she quickly hides it. I was hoping she wouldn’t flirt with either of them. She’s not really into them, and it wouldn’t end well for anyone.
When she turns around so she can scan the group in front of us, she spots Yulia and then looks back at us to say, “I’m gonna go ask her.” She gives me a quick smile and then scoots past my parents to make her way across the veranda to where Yulia is sitting and laughing at something her brother’s just said.
Ev eventually goes to join his cousin, but I don’t move. I discreetly put another cushion under my sore butt and then crack my book open. My family is used to me reading in the corner, so no one thinks anything of it. I’m also hoping they’re so used to it that none of them notice the way my eyes keep drifting to wherever Damien is standing. I follow him as he gets led into one conversation after another, slowly drifting around the large outdoor space before finally taking a seat opposite me. There’s a fire pit between us that my Uncle Vasya lit earlier, but I can stillsee his face through the flames. It might be a little obscured, but it does nothing to take away from how good-looking he is.
My parents and aunts and uncles scoot closer to the warmth of the fire, and it’s pretty obvious that they’ve all been hitting the drinks. No one is drunk, but judging by the big smiles and glasses that keep getting refilled as soon as they’re empty, they’re all feeling pretty good.
When I look over at my older brothers, they motion for me to get up. I walk past the circle of chairs, stopping to give my dad a quick hug and then kissing Lyra’s head. She’s huddled up in a blanket on Max’s chest, looking perfectly at peace and in a deep sleep.
