Turning her head, she kisses me and says, “Don’t get too cocky, husband. You haven’t caught me yet.”
I laugh and kiss her again. “Come on, baby. You need to eat something. You’re going to be burning a lot of calories later.”
She threads her fingers through mine, following me as we join our families and step into our new life together.
Epilogue
Two Years Later:
A Peek into the Future:
Sitka
“Oh no,” I say, keeping my voice light and happy as our son turns his head to look at me. He’s still getting used to walking on sand, and when he sees me not looking scared that he’s fallen onto his bottom, he gives me a big smile, showing off his newest baby teeth and melting my heart into a big sappy puddle.
“He’s so perfect,” Damien says from beside me. We’re both still in awe of the life we created, this tiny human who’s stolen both our hearts so easily.
I laugh and clap my hands when our son presses his palms against the sand and hikes his bottom up. He’s wobbly but he manages to stand and the triumphant grin he gives us has us both laughing and closing the distance.
“Good job, Rowan,” Damien tells him, picking him up and kissing one of his chubby cheeks.
We decided to name him Rowan Vladimir Melnikov. We wanted to give him a name that represented the spot whereDamien and I fell in love. It also doesn’t hurt that Rowan trees fill the forest that he loves to chase me in. The middle name was my idea, and when I told my dad we were naming our son after him, I swear he cried a little bit.
Whatever lingering hesitation my dad and brothers might have had towards my husband died the day I gave birth to Rowan. I’ve never seen them so happy, and they’re determined to make sure his feet never touch the ground. If any of them are around, our son is being held by one of them.
Nyx runs over and nudges her head against Damien’s leg, and as soon as he squats down, she licks his hand as he tries to pet her.
“Nyx,” Rowan squeals while he kicks his feet. He has his daddy’s full mouth, and I often see him wear the same intense look Damien does, but the color is the exact shade of grey as mine.
I wrap my arm around Damien and lean in to kiss our son’s head. He smiles and baby talks while we walk further down the beach. We fly and stay here a couple of times a month, both of us wanting Rowan to grow up here as much as possible. I love our home in the city, but it will never feel like the Pacific Northwest. Nothing compares to the beauty of this place, and a part of me will always long for it. It’s not as painful as I thought it would be, though. Damien and Rowan make it impossible for me to be sad about anything. It helps that we get to spend time in the country with his cousins and their kids. It’s not the same kind of natural beauty as here, but it’s still gorgeous and Rowan loves playing with all his cousins.
“Are you sad about leaving tomorrow,” Damien asks.
I rest my head on his shoulder and watch one of the gulls dive for a fish. “I could never be sad as long as you and Rowan are with me.”
He smiles down at me and kisses my head. “You think you’ll ever stop breaking me wide open when you say things like that?”
“Probably,” I say, making his mouth twitch.
“I don’t think so. I think it’ll always be like this. You still make me feel like I’m drowning,besyonok. There’s never going to be a time when I’m not lost to you, when a single look or word from you won’t steal the breath from my lungs and make me feel like I’ve lost my footing. You ruin me, sweetheart, in the best way possible.”
I wrap my fingers around the back of his neck and pull him closer so I can kiss him. Just like always, as soon as his lips touch mine, I lose myself to him. I open for him, and when I feel his tongue brush along mine, I tighten my grip on him and let out a soft moan.
He pulls back with a grin when our son starts letting out a happy string of baby talk with a lot of ma-mas and da-das mixed in.
I see the love in Damien’s eyes every time he looks at our son, and now is no different when he stares at him and says, “I love how happy he is. I worry that I won’t be a good enough dad for him, that I’ll fail him somehow, but every time I see how happy he is it makes me think I must be doing something right.”
I know he worries that he’ll somehow fail as a parent, but I also know there’s no way in hell that will ever happen. He may doubt himself, but I never will.
“You’re an amazing dad,” I tell him. “And Rowan already knows it.” I make a funny face at our son and smile when he starts laughing. “You have the best daddy in the world, don’t you?” I ask, grinning when Rowan claps and nods his head. I look at Damien. “See? He already knows it.”
Damien gives me a playful eye roll and says, “Ask him again when he’s sixteen. We’ll see if we get a different answer.”
I laugh and nod. “Deal,” I tell him. “I have complete confidence that he’ll still say yes. He might not giggle and clap while he does it, but it’ll still be a yes.”
“Yeah, I really doubt I get the same level of exuberance,” Damien says. “Better enjoy it while I can.”
When Rowan tries to wiggle his way down, Damien puts him back on the sand while we each take one of his chubby hands in ours. We walk with our son along the beach, pointing birds out to him, already trying to teach him the name of things.
