BRYLEE
After his knot unlocked,Colter collapsed onto the massive mattress and fell instantly asleep, his skull mask rising up so that the crests of his cheeks were visible. Then Ridge told me he had an appointment, and Kylian swooped forward and kissed my cheek, his dark eyes sparkling with mischief as he said he had a quick errand to run.
"Will you be okay with just Luka for a bit?" he crooned.
Luka punched him in the shoulder. "I'm insulted."
Kylian just waggled his tongue back at the other alpha, and I reassured them I'd be fine.
With that, two of my mates had left my wing of the castle, both promising to return as soon as they could.
And then Luka turned to me and asked, "Princess, want me to clean you up?"
Now I'm hand in hand with the one remaining member of Alpha Team X who's awake, and I'm still a little dazed by our new reality. The castle. My heat. His butt.
Man, does he have a good butt.
Luka loosely holds my fingers in an interlocked fashion as we walk nude down the hallway in search of a bathroom.
I keep drifting a few steps behind to admire the view. But I also keep falling behind because a tiny bit of chest-clenching self-consciousness cycles through me as our feet pad along the cold tiles. I can't think of a time in my life when I've walked through a lit space with a man while naked. Before my mates, nudity was for lights-out, blinds-shut, awkward groping scenarios. And a cave and a closet aren't wild exceptions…
This is different.
This isn't the madness of the moment, full of biting and kissing, quick hands and grinding bodies.
There's a unique sort of vulnerability here as we stroll along side by side without a strip of clothing on, one I haven't experienced before. And something about it makes me feel like a glass figurine. One nudge away from shattering.
Cellulite and stomach pouches flit through my head like landmines, and I peer at Luka, waiting for the second he glances back and spots one of my million flaws.
My throat grows dry. All the moisture retreats to the bottom lids of my eyes and pools there. My stomach tightens as if I'm approaching the top of a rollercoaster and then teetering back and forth, just hovering over the drop. Surely everything's about to plunge into chaos.
Each step, I await the flick of the switch, the drop of a pin that signals a grenade is about to go off.
The moment he's disappointed with me.
My exes flash briefly through my head, and I can picture their expressions perfectly. The quick, miniature frowns when they'd seen something they didn't like. Or I'd done something wrong.
I realize that my shoulders have started to hunch from the tension brewing within, and I blow out a breath, trying to expel those alphas and their poison. But it doesn't retreat easily, that burn inside my veins. That sure sense that Luka and Alpha Team X are going to discover how broken I am in every sense of the word.
Shards of glass line my swallow as I fight against the barrage of dark thoughts and emotions bulldozing through my gut with a speed I wouldn't have thought possible.
Clenching and releasing my free hand, I try to shake away the tension rollicking under my skin. I can't let my exes ruin the present. They've already ravaged my past, and they don't deserve another second.
My scent matches aren't like them.
I repeat that phrase incessantly as I walk my wobbly self-esteem back from the brink while we zigzag down the hall, opening door after door. Instead of letting my brain fester, I home in on my mate, trying to focus on something else.
Luka holds my hands gently as he peers into room after room, naked as the day he was born, dick swaying, back tall and proud. He has good posture, and I vaguely wonder if it's from all the workouts he does with the military or if he had posture coaches like I did.
Probably not. My mother is a unique sort of creature.
I admire how his teeth catch on his lower lip as he pushes open a door, only to find a massive desk and a set of chairs.
"An office? Really?" Quickly, he pulls back to me with a quirked brow, saying, “It has to be somewhere close. It makes no sense to have a nesting room without a bathroom nearby.”
He's so calm and rational, like all of this is no big deal. Like he's not self-conscious about walking naked and being judged, being found lacking.
How can men do that?
