Her soft smile had a hint of sorrow to it. “I ken it well. And ye have nae idea how happy I have been the last few weeks to see him playing with yer boy. Matthew is a brilliant lad and so good with Callan. He genuinely cares for him, and Callan craves that attention.”
Before Cash could form a reply, Athena had rolled onto her side to face him, her expression intent. “And seeing ye with him?” She scoffed slightly. “Cash, ye aresucha good father. Thank ye for sharing some of yerself with my Callan.”
To his surprise, Cash found his throat closing with emotion at the intensity of her appreciation. Until that moment, he hadn’t realized how much it might mean to have someone else—someone besides Matthew—consider him a “good father.” His own sire had spent little time with him, and while his mother had done her best, she’d been focused on attempting to force refinement on his sister in the years since Cash’s first marriage.
But Athena… Athena had noticed, and approved, of how he parented Matthew. And it meantso muchto him.
Cash had to clear his throat twice before he could form the words.
“You are welcome,” he said hoarsely. “It’s meant a lot to me to be able to spend time with him, and to see you with Matthew as well.”
Solemnly, she nodded, then dropped her head back to the pillow. “I have five brothers—three legitimate, two no’—and they are all good men, in their own ways. My father too. But none of them have quite made up for the lad no’ having a father and brother. Lysander thinks I let him run too wild.”
“Who is Lysander?”
She hummed. “My second-auldest brother. The oldest from my mother. Lyon is the auldest of us all, but he had another mother, and he is—well, he holds himself separate from the rest of us, now. If he kenned Callan better, he wouldnae think I allow him to run wild.”
Cash noticed her stumble, and wondered what she’d been about to reveal.
“And do you? Let Callan run too wild?”
Her eyes were closed, her fingers idly tracing circles on her bare stomach, but she smiled softly. “Perhaps. Aye. But then, I allow myself too much freedom as well.”
With a teasing growl, Cash rolled atop her, gathering her in his arms. “Ilikeyour freedoms!”
Chuckling, she wriggled beneath him until he managed to pull the counterpane over both of them and settled down with his arm around her. “What kinds of freedom do you think are too much, Athena?”
She was still smiling as her eyes closed once more. “I bore a child without the benefit of marriage, Cash,” she reminded him. “My reputation—which was already battered because of my outspoken nature—was ruined after that. I suspect that, were it kenned I took my son and snuck out to cavort by the river with two friends, I would be chastised for that freedom as well. What else?” She hummed. “Oh, and in a recent production where I dressedas a lad, I paired a red waistcoat with a set of blue breeches.”
Because he knew she was teasing, he chuckled, pulling her closer. “An outrageous freedom indeed.”
But inside, his mind was whirling. Was she an actress then? She’d mentioned a production, and actresses enjoyed a certain amount of liberty when it came to their personal actions. He knew many gentlemen back in London who kept actresses as a mistress.
He’d had this suspicion, for a while now, that she was a member of the minor gentry, perhaps a gentleman’s daughter—or even a lord’s by-blow—who’d been led astray by a man who’d abandoned her after she’d become pregnant. But that didn’t match the actress narrative, and the more he thought of it, the more he doubted that scenario as well; Athena wasn’t a woman who would allow a man to hurt her like that.
When she stretched, her toes brushed against his, and he smiled instinctively.
“There are some who might saythisis a freedom,” she hummed appreciatively.
“It is indeed.” He rolled so he could throw his free arm across her belly and found he liked the way her fingers rose to touch his forearm. “The freedom to do what we want, when we want. The freedom to bewhowe want,” he added, thinking of the mound of ducal responsibilities he’d abandoned that afternoon.
Her fingers stroked from his elbow to his wrist, then back again, causing little frissons of delight to climb his arm and settle in his chest.
“And if ye could be anyone, Cash? Who would ye be?”
He answered without hesitation. “Your lover.”
Hefelther grin.
But something compelled him to elaborate. “I’d like to be…just Cash. Just here, with you. None of the responsibility, just the chance to be like this.”
She was silent a long moment, her strokes even and gentle, bringing him peace.
“We all have responsibilities. I dinnae need to ken yers to ken ye have allowed them to take over yer life. Even Matthew feels it.”
It was true. Before this summer, he’d allowed himself only one afternoon a week with his son and heir.
As if understanding his thoughts, Athena continued, “Maybe all ye need is someone to remind ye to compartmentalize that part of yer life. Ye have responsibilities, but ye can also have fun. Ye can also bejust Cash.”
