“Thanks for coming to get me,” I offered as I pulled the seatbelt across my chest and lap.
“Sure,” he replied quickly, nodding his head and keeping his eyes forward. He put the truck into gear and pulled off the curb and onto the blacktop. We drove in silence for a few minutes, for which I was grateful. I hadn't been in a moving car in a very long time. Between the tires hitting the road and the whole ‘freedom’ thing, my stomach was in knots.
After about 10 minutes or so, Jack spoke. “I figured you would probably want to stop and pick up some things before we headed to the house. Walmart is the only thing open right now, but I figured it was something, at least."
Honestly, I was so overwhelmed that I hadn’t considered the fact that I hadnothing.I had established the clothing problem, but I hadn’t even thought about everything else. “Yeah, that would be good. Thanks.”
I took the silence between us as an opportunity to try and get my thoughts in sufficient order to not make a complete fool of myself once we got to the store. I was grateful for the cool air swirling in around us through the windows. I thought that it might be the only thingkeeping me from being sick.
Okay, James.Think!You need to… smell good. Deodorant. Body wash. Toothbrush. I glanced over at Jack and his unruly facial hair, which climbed down his neck like wiry, wayward grass.
Razor and shaving cream…
“Mom wants us to come over for dinner tonight,” he said casually.
Fuck me to death.
A meager “Okay,” was all I managed.
“I told her that you would probably need some time to settle in and adjust, and that we could talk about getting together another day.”
He chuckled at my relieved sigh as he pulled into a spot close to the store’s entrance. Walmart’s sign was a glowing blue oasis in the dark. Employees milled around the entrance smoking and pushing carts; the automatic doorswooshedopen and closed. Everything felt huge and overwhelming. Jack put the car in park, and I sucked in all the anxiety like I could trap it in my lungs.
“You good?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said. “Let’s go.”
***
Jack’s house was quiet, and the only light came froma dim light above the stove in the kitchen. The living room was a decent size, but most of the floor space was taken up by a playpen and crates full of toys and stuffed animals.
“This is a nice place,” I mentioned, as I followed Jack through the kitchen and down a narrow hallway. He opened a door on the left and I trailed him into his guestroom, closing the door behind me. It was clear Jenna and the baby were still sleeping. I didn’t want to wake them up. I already felt like I was being loud as fuck, just carrying all those crinkling plastic bags down the hall.
“There’s fresh sheets on the bed, and the bathroom is just the next door over. Jenna is usually up with Linds and will start making breakfast once they get going, so anytime now,” he finished, peeking at the watch on his wrist.
I walked past him and set the plastic bags down on the full-sized bed. It had a hunter plaid comforter and two pillows; it could have been a bed in any guest room in any house in America. Maybe the world. I turned back to face him. “Thank you… for letting me stay here, and all this.” I gestured back towards the bags of stuff I’d picked out, which Jack had insisted on paying for. “I’ll pay you back as soon as I get on my feet.”
“Don’t mention it. I have to head into the shop early, but if you want to go somewhere, the Dodge Neon in the driveway is good to go. Keys are hanging on the hook by the kitchen door.”
“Jenna won’t need it?”
He shook his head. “She’s got the SUV with the car seat if she decides to go anywhere.”
I nodded. “Thanks. I’ll probably run out later and try to figure out a phone.”
“Cool. There’s clean towels under the sink, and wash cloths on the rack in the bathroom.”
Once Jack had walked out, I started unpacking the shopping bags. I set the bag with the bathroom stuff aside and pulled out the few articles of clothing I had picked out. A pair of cargo pants and a pair of blue jeans, both stiff with newness. Three cotton t-shirts and a zip-up hoodie, all in black. A pack of boxer briefs and twelve pairs of ankle socks, black and black.
I opened the packages, threw a few things in with the toiletries, and slipped into the bathroom. I locked the door and set my stuff down on the toilet lid. I grabbed what I needed from the bag and undressed. I turned the shower spray on, and once it had warmed up, I stepped inside and pulled the curtain.
I bent my knees a little to let the spray wash over the top of my head and down over my body. Fuck, I hadn’t taken a hot shower in years. In prison, we got three-minute showers every other day with lukewarm water. There were also six other guys showering all around you and guards watching every move. You always hear about steamy gay prison fantasies, orrapey reindeer games when folks drop the soap, but there was none of that in Emberford Pen.
Everyone was so monitored and scheduled to precision that there was no hanky-panky shit going on. Not that anyone would have tried to overpower me. I was bigger than most of them in height and build once I started working out. Still. There was no time and no opportunity.
The only way anything would have ever happened would have been if Todd and I had messed around in the middle of the night in our cell. News flash… we didn’t. Todd was the only person I’d ever even come out to besides Avery, but Todd was straight. There was one night where I was pretty sure we jerked off at the same time, him on his bunk and me on mine, but we never spoke of it.
Getting caught masturbating or having sex with another inmate was grounds for punishment and at least a week in solitary. Still dazzled by the hot water and slightly dizzy with the implicit freedom of taking a shower all by myself, I grabbed the body wash and soaped myself up, my dick immediately hardening and sticking straight out in front of me.
