“It wasn't supposed to be this complicated, baby,” I muttered in the direction of my phone’s screen. “I wassupposed to get out, and then we were both supposed to be free.”
I had damn-near memorized the letters Avery had sent me. I’d read each of them at least 50 times, and, now, some of the stranger things Avery had written over the years were making a whole lot more sense. He’d written about feeling trapped, and how he knew I was the one behind bars, but we were both in a prison.
At times, I’ll admit, I thought he was just stressed and being a little overdramatic. Now it was crystal-clear that he’d been referring to his basically arranged marriage, and how much of a prisoner he was despite seemingly beingfree.
No matter what had happened, or how Avery had wound up entangled with David, it was my fault for not being there. Then again, if I hadn’t gone to prison for Jack’s crimes, I would have never met Avery to begin with. As my love for Avery grew, so did my belief in the idea of fate. As horrible and demeaning as the American prison system was, having Avery writing to me made everything worth it.
Inside, men often turned to faith as a way to cope; using religion to turn their lives around. And I guessed, in a way, I’d done the same. Except my faith had been placed in Avery. The faith that, one day, we’d be together. That everything I was going through was bringing me one step closer to my happy ending.
Endure in order to prosper, but, at what point will Averyand I have endured enough?
The itching anxiety of being deceitful to Avery began to creep up again. I hadn’ttechnicallylied to him, but I had been far from honest with the whole JR/James thing. I didn’t even know how it happened, honestly; the last thing I ever meant to do was deceive him. Now, I couldn’t stop the feeling that I’d fucked up by not telling him instantly who I was. On the other hand, thinking back to how coy he’d been withJR, there was no doubt he was attracted to me. Even though he didn't know who I was, there was still an obvious chemistry. That much was undeniable. Maybe there was something to be said about soulmates, after all.
Or maybe I’m just a delusional ex-con who has somehow convinced the sweetest boy in the world to even give him a second glance.
I shook off the thoughts and pocketed my phone as I stepped out of the car. The shop’s parking lot was empty, as it was still well before opening. I wanted the opportunity to take a good look around the shop and see what I could snoop out before the others came in for the day.
Opening the shop door, I heard something skid across the concrete. I stepped inside to see a Ziploc bag full of cookies and an envelope withJRwritten on the front. I'd recognize that swoopy handwriting anywhere.
I picked up the envelope and found a crisp $50 bill anda folded note that read:
JR,
First, I’d like to say thank you for working on my car. It was never my intention to lead you on, and I hope you don’t think I am trying to get free labor or anything. I’m not that kind of guy, I promise. There’s no denying my immediate attraction to you, and maybe that’s how things got so out of hand.
I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.
Sorry again, and I hope you enjoy the cookies.
Avery
I took an instinctive look back around the empty shop before allowing myself to smile like a big goon as I re-read Avery’s words. I had been stewing over my confrontation with Jack last night, and hadn’t slept for shit. I heard Jack walk past my bedroom door sometime past three that morning, and he’d still been in his room when I’d left.
I honestly wasn’t sure how today was going to go, or if he’d even bother to show up. I shrugged, suddenly not caring anymore as I pulled the top of the bag open and stuck one of Avery’s cookies between my teeth.
I hadn’t even bit into it fully, and I could already tell it was the best cookie I’d ever tasted. My mind flashed to Avery taking his time to measure out each ingredient as he hovered over an old recipe book. Or, maybe,he knew the recipe by heart and simply hummed a soft tune while he mixed, scooped, and shaped. The thought of walking up behind him at the counter and wrapping my arms around him as I placed a kiss behind his ear. He’d smile, and maybe even blush as he trayed the cookies.
The way he’d have to bend over to get the tray into the hot oven…
While they were in the oven, I’d slip my hand between the waistline of his pants and his warm, silky skin as I nipped along his jawline with my teeth. I shook off the thoughts before my dick could get any harder.
I sealed the baggie back up and turned as the door opened behind me and Jack walked in. He glanced up, and I stepped aside to let him by with the cookie jutting out from my mouth. As Jack passed, I registered the mottled, inflamed blue-and-purple bruise across his cheek creeping up to a swollen right eye socket. A pang of guilt ran through me as the scuffle flashed across my memory.
I didn’t want to apologize, because he’d deserved it, but I was ready to talk it out. I had too much other shit going on to walk on eggshells around Jack every second of the day.
“Breakfast?”
Jack looked timid as I held the plastic bag out in front of me. He hesitated a moment, looked at the cookies, and shook his head.
“I can’t eat nuts,” he offered, as if I’d forgotten his lifelong allergy.
“I haven't come across any nuts yet.”
“Sad state of affairs for a gay dude,” Jack quipped without malice as he picked a cookie out for himself.
I chuckled and worked out a toasted coconut flake that had wedged itself between my teeth. After a moment or so of awkward silence, Jack and I spoke at the same time.
“Look, bro…”
