He lifted his head. “Where else would I want to be?”
I had no idea what I’d done to deserve Cash Hooper, but I wasn’t going to waste time questioning my luck. So I tilted my head down and kissed him, softly and gently, and lifted a hand to draw my fingers through his hair. Cash gave a pleased hum that vibrated against my lips, then hooked his hands into the waistband of my jeans, tugging me closer. He deepened the kiss and then pulled back, eyes wide, and whispered, “Wanna take a nap with me?”
I rubbed my thumb along the shell of his ear and laughed softly. “More than anything, yeah.”
Cash smiled and led me upstairs to my bedroom.
We both stripped down to our underwear and climbed under the covers, and it was so fucking cozy and perfect that my eyesstung again. Cash curled up beside me and laid his head on my chest. He traced gentle patterns on my stomach with his fingers.
My head was still in a strange place, vacillating between a million different what-ifs, from the one where Trent Lee sued me successfully and I ended up even more broke than I was now, to the one where last night was just an awful dream and the calf was actually fine. I thought about how I’d promised to go and see the psychologist in Hopewell that Adrian Conrad had recommended, and I wondered what that would be like. If they were anything like Adrian, probably not as terrifying as I was anticipating.
“Hey,” I whispered into the top of Cash’s head. “I’m sorry I scared you today.”
His fingers froze, and he lifted himself up onto an elbow. “I’m not. I’m sorry it happened, but I’m glad you said it. If that’s what you felt, I mean.”
“It was,” I said, guilt twisting through my stomach.
“Mason?”
“Mmm?”
“You reminded me of Dog,” he said. “When—when I found him and took him. He just looked so tired, like he’d stopped caring. And bringing him to you, a stranger, was one of the scariest things I’ve ever done.” He showed me a wavering smile. “But look at me now.”
“Listen to you, you mean.” My throat ached. I was so fucking proud of him.
He nodded. “Do you know what Mr. Conrad told me? Apart from it being okay to steal dogs if they’re being abused?”
I reached out and cupped his face. “What?”
“He told me that it’s okay to want things, even if you know you might not get them.” His throat bobbed as he swallowed. “I wish you weren’t leaving. I wish you would stay here. And not just for me. For you too. You’re happier now than you were whenI met you, and I don’t think that’s just because of me. I think Goose Run is good for you.”
“I had a breakdown like two hours ago, Cash.”
“I know.” His dark gaze bored into me. “But if you’d been in Cincinnati, you might not have had anyone to tell about what you were thinking. And then next time you might have driven off the road when you thought it.”
A jolt vibrated through my gut.
Cash was right.
And maybe it wouldn’t have happened. Maybe I would have gotten myself back on track before I’d made a decision I couldn’t take back, but I couldn’t be sure of that.
I thought of what Adrian had said about taking the time to think before I made any decisions. The one thing I knew for sure was that I didn’t want to go back to work in Cincinnati.
Just picturing walking back into that fast-paced, cookie-cutter practice with stacked appointments and the constant unrelenting pressure to work harder, faster, better—a clinic run on Key Performance Indicators and profit margins and shareholder reports—made my gut churn. Add going home to an empty apartment at the end of the day on top of it, and I couldn’t think of anything worse. It wasn’t as though there was anything in Cincinnati to tie me there. I wasn’t close to my parents, and most of my friends had drifted away when I’d been buried in my work.
“I wanted to be a vet my whole life,” I said. “But then, sometime in the past two years, I really started to hate it. Like, stay up at night wondering what the fuck I’m doing kind of hate it.”
Cash stilled.
“At least, I thought I did,” I said. “But then I got here, and it’s different. I like the work again. I like most of the clients. Hell, some days I even like Lucille. A little bit. It’s still stressful, butit’s a different kind of stress. It doesn’t feel like I’m constantly on the verge of being sucked into a black hole here, for the first time in a long time. Until last night, at least.”
“Then why leave?”
Cash didn’t talk much, but his words sure packed a punch.
I let out a huff of laughter. “That’s a good fucking question, actually.”
Cash nodded and laid his head back down on my chest. I put an arm around him and tugged at the soft hair at the nape of his neck.
