I stare at it like it could burn my retinas. Do I really want to find out secrets about my future wife?
Maybe for the first time ever, I haven’t wanted Valen to know something. Not this. He’s even heard me mention Karina, but I kept it so low key, I’m not sure he even remembers. This?
I want to tuck her away. Keep her to myself.
It was the same on the night my brother held the tattoo machine on her. I gave himthe look. One that said,this one’s mine.
“No…I don’t need the information. I’m good.” With a stretch, I stand. “Let me talk to her first.”
“If you need anything from me, just ask. I’m here.”
I clamp a hand on his shoulder and squeeze. “Thanks, buddy.”
By Saturday, I’ve chickened out. I’m not usually one to shirk responsibilities. Ever. In fact, I’d say I’m brave.Usually.
Getting married in a few days to a stranger is going to take more than guts. I’ve felt ill-equipped in a lot of ways throughout my life, but this is the most unprepared I’ve been.
I spend most of the day working out. Playing intramural soccer. Take an inordinate amount of time in the shower. Ask Lex Lynx to give me a fresh cut and shave because he’s way too good with a blade. Prepare a speech by practicing in front of a mirror.
But I can’t seem to force myself forward.
That evening, I’m determined to march across campus and say my lines. The ones I’ve memorized in my head.Instead? My feet barrel toward my bike and I’m on the way to The Underpass. Ten minutes in, I’ve got two beers down and sling back a shot of whiskey.
“What’s up, bro?” Nico asks, handing me a second shot. “You look like you got something on your mind that only shitty liquor can fix.”
I know he doesn’t actually want to talk about it. So I just shrug.
“My president!” Oz Friedenberg and his older brother, Adal, Valen’s cousins, spot me across the bonfire. Oz dances over and practically jumps into my arms. He’s not small, but I catch him anyway. “I missed you!” He plants a big kiss on my cheek, and I set him down.
“How drunk are you, Ozzie?” I ask, scanning his bloodshot eyes.
Adal shakes his head. “Too fucking much.”
Oz stumbles back. “I’m not schlow drunk! I’m fast. You’re just-just laggin’!” He slurs every word.
“Someone get the kid some water,” I command to one of the guys. It’s gotten to be second nature now, I suppose. Having people do what I say.
Nico and Adal areDeltaalums. Oz is still a sophomore in the fraternity. Legacy. With all the money and power that go along with that. Including the fancy mansion in Gnarled Pine Hollow, the city they’re from.
But just like with Valen, none of the Freidenbergs ever made me feellessthan.
Nico blows out a puff of his joint and hands it to Oz. “Here. For the hangover you’re bound to have tomorrow.”
“Thanks, bro. I love you, Nico. You know that I do. Like, for real.”
“I know, Oz.”
“Want me to suck you off?”
I don’t even blink.
Nico gives us all a very rare smile and ruffles Oz’s longer black hair. “No, kid. I’m good.”
“You sure? I give great ones.” The eyebrow with the ring in it twitches as he quirks it a few times. Flirting sloppily.
At the same time, Adal yells, “Oz! That’s my best friend. Go somewhere else!Fuck! Stop hitting on my friends!”
“He’smyfriend, too.”
