I love him.
I’m usually so utterlycarefulabout my decisions. But there was nothing logical about this. Nope. The feelings I have inside for that man? It’s completely unrestrained and reckless.
Dad interrupts my glaring humiliation spiral with a loud slurp of his morning joe. “What’s the plan?”
Apollo leans on the counter next to my dad, the two looking like offensive lineman of the Northview Nighthawk’s football team. Just as big as Bo. Arms crossed. Sipping hot coffee. And deep furrows in their grumpy brows.
“I want to discuss something, butprivatelyfirst. Not that I don’t trust you, G. But I…I do my best thinking while talking out loud. And with Scout there to help me sort things out?—”
“I get it.” Dad shrugs, as if unaffected. Plus, I know he doesn’t want to be immersed unless we absolutely need him. “Keep us involved. We’re ready to help, but we have to know what you’re thinking.”
Apollo and he meet eyes, like they’re having some private conversation. It’s weird. And I kind of like it. My husband fits with my family, and that’s unexpected. It only deepens the feeling of attachment already blossoming deep in my chest. One that says that I can’t lose him. Not now. Not ever.
I get ready for the day while Apollo eats. He has a rideshare drop us off at Karina. He doesn’t say why and I don’t ask. A silent plan is brewing behind his dark eyes, and we need to be careful with where we go.
And what we say.
On the roof, he clasps the edges of my lettered band jacket, the one I wore in high school, pulling me closer to him. Dad gave him some of Lan’s clothes to wear, including a jacket, and he wraps it around me until we’re both tucked in and warm.
His breath mingles with mine as the winter white sky expands above us. There aren’t any witnesses here. No spies or cameras. Nothing that would interfere.
It’s just my husband and me. Together. Facing the world.
“We should develop a secret code,” Apollo says, and I try to shove away the thoughts of how handsome he looks, even after a rough night of sleep. “Things we need to communicate to each other that only you and I could figure out.” He shakes his head, the wind whipping through his black locks. “You’re the only one I trust, Scout.”
An urgent need for his trust and love heats me up inside. I swallow back the bit of emotion trying to escape. I don’t want to embarrass myself by making any more unreciprocated declarations.
It’s too soon. It’s utterly ridiculous. I’m so very calculated about everything. But when I know something, I know. I make wise decisions usually. I’m known for it.
With the pressure, the games, and our commitment. With everything we’ve been through, I can’t stop it. Apollo’s taken over my heart like I didn’t have a choice.
But I do.
I choose him.
“Maybe I should type everything on my phone and hold it up for you to read. That way, it won’t be overheard.”
Apollo runs a hand through his hair, letting me go as he squirms uncomfortably. “I don’t think so. That’s probably bugged, too.” His voice is ragged, laced with an edge.
“We could write notes on paper, then.”
His eyes narrow, and his shoulders stiffen as if he’s prepared for a fight. It’s strange. “No, I don’t like notes.”
The finality of his statement is odd. So…aggressive.
“Oh my god,” I whisper as it dawns on me. My brain snaps, putting everything together.
“What?” he chokes out, taking a step back from me. The safety of his body is gone.
“Apollo?” I swallow, waiting a beat to craft the perfect question. “Do… Can youread?”
The recipe instructions. His voice texts. The chicken scratched note he left me the other morning when he stepped out… Him saying he’sslow.
His eyebrows knit together as he sharpens his gaze at me.
“I’m not fuckingstupid. I…” Pain settles in his features as if he’s ready for someone to laugh in his face.
“Iknowyou’re not stupid. Is it like— Do you have dyslexia, or…?”
