“Good,” I call back, keeping my gaze on the woman.
I feel it in my chest, but I don’t want to admit it.
I work quickly and carefully with EMS to get the woman out of the car and onto the stretcher. She’s in the back of the ambo in seconds and they’re off to the hospital where I already know what the outcome will be. Though I stopped checking in a long time ago. I stopped keeping track of those I failed. The number is too high, and it’s too much weight to put on myself.
But I don’t forget them. I never forget them.
Tow trucks come for the vehicles, taking them away after all the occupants are on their way to the hospital. We cover the spills, sweep up the mess, and then we’re driving back to the station to wait for the next one. The energy on the way back isnever the same on the way out—especially when someone has died. But I do what I do for a reason. It’s the least of what I deserve after what I did.
Chapter 5
Miles
“Kill me now!” I shout into the phone when Audrey calls that evening to check on Noah.
“What’s wrong?” she asks, not a single thing in her tone telling me she actually cares. “And talk fast; I don’t have a lot of time.”
“Since we left early this morning, I took Noah by the station, like Ialways do. And Noah was waving and knocking on the window at the firefighters, likehe always does.”
“Get on with it, Miles,” she says impatiently.
“And guess who was walking by? Guess who the firefighter walking into his shift was? Guess who looked over his shoulder, smiled and waved at Noah, then looked me dead in the eye andfrowned?”
“Uh… who?”
“The firefighter fromlastnight!” I shout, huffing. It’s still unbelievable.
“Oh… Ohhh.” She laughs uncontrollably.
“This isn’t funny.”
She’s still laughing as she says, “Miles, it’s very funny.”
“What if he thinks I’m stalking him?” I hiss.
“That’s why this is funny, Miles,” she says seriously, then dismisses me completely. “Put my son on the phone.”
I growl, pull the phone away from my face and shout, “Noah! Mom’s on the phone!” I bring the phone back to my ear. “He already finished his homework. We ate dinner. He asked if he could wait until seven to take a bath, and I told him it was fine.”
“As long as it’s a quick one. He needs to be in bed by eight.”
“I know, I know. You act like it’s my first day taking care of a kid, Audrey.”
“Mommy!” Noah shouts, lunging onto the couch.
I laugh as I hand him the phone. He puts it on speaker because kids these days just don’t care about privacy.
“How’s work?” he asks, sounding way too old for his age.
“It’s fine, honey. How are you? Uncle Miles said you did your homework already?”
“I didallof it and it wassooooeasy.”
“That’s because you’re smart.” I ruffle his hair.
He giggles, then goes back to the conversation with Audrey while I zone out, unable to get that image of JJ from this morning out of my head. ThankGodI told him about Noah loving fire trucks. That’s the only thing that saved my ass today and has stopped me from dying of embarrassment. I could have taken him to any firehouse, and I brought him to that one? What if JJ thinks I did it on purpose? How would I know that’s where he worked? He didn’t tell me. Certainly, he must know it was a coincidence. I’m not crazy and I’m not a stalker. Really, I’m not!
I’ve been taking Noah by that station for the last three years, ever since he started school. Have I noticed JJ before and not realized it? We see firefighters now and then, but I’ve never given them much thought. Noah always cared more about the firetrucks.
