My heart skips.
Maybe I’m trying to figure out how easy it would be for your car to drive off the road into the ocean. – Sadie
The three dots appear, vanish, appear again. The ferry’s horn cuts through the silence of the ocean, as it approaches Liberty. A few minutes and he’ll be driving on. I guess I’m his distraction from boredom while he waits.
And that’s fine. Isn’t it?
And I thought I was supposed to be the predator. – Zach
I feel a flush of heat rush through me. I wish I could see him. Though my imagination is pretty on fire right now. He’s in the car, wearing a pair of dark pants and a crisp shirt, the sleeves rolled up. And those sunglasses he always insists on wearing. The ones that feel like a barrier between him and the world.
I want you to chase me at night. – Sadie
There. A question answered. I feel… free. Excited. Not afraid, not exactly. I trust him not to hurt me. Not physically, anyway.
My heart? Well I’ll worry about that another day.
Good girl. – Zach
God, he’s a bastard. He must know the effect of his words on me. I squeeze my thighs together. I imagine him smiling in his car, watching me standing here facing the jetty.
The ferry horn blasts a second time. They’re coming in. Unloading and loading is always fast. Jesse runs a tight ship, literally.
I have to go. Think about my other questions. And I have one more. – Zach
A chuckle escapes my lips.
Of course you do. – Sadie
His reply is almost instantaneous. Like he wasn’t waiting for my answer.
Can I choose what you wear for the chase? – Zach
I blink. I hadn’t thought about what to wear. But I know I’d agonize about it the day before. Should I look pretty? Should I dress for speed?
As long as it’s not a thong and nipple tassles, yes. – Sadie
We’ll save the tassels for another day. Go sell some books and we can talk later. – Zach
The ferry hits the dock and I hear the rumble of engines starting up. It’s weird how much those messages have made me smile. He has a sense of humor as well as being stupidly hot, damn him.
And then one last message arrives unexpectedly.
Are you okay? I know this is a lot. I just want to make sure I know your boundaries. – Zach
I’m absolutely fine. Now go… do whatever it is you’re heading to the mainland to do. Have a good trip. – Sadie
I tuck my phone back into my pocket, but the smile doesn’t leave my face. It’s breathtaking how the man can go from filthy to sweet in a few sentences. But that’s okay. It’s only a game. Only words. Just Zach being Zach.
Maybe that’s why it feels so safe, this thing between us. I get to let go. To stop thinking. To want what I want without worrying who it might hurt.
The ferry ramp hits the dock. His car rolls forward, disappearing onto the ferry, and I remind myself it’s not real. Once he leaves the island for good, this will be over. And that’s a good thing. Neither one of us is made for relationships.
So why am I already waiting for the next question?
ZACH
“Okay,” Dr. Rogan says, giving me the gentlest of smiles. He’s in his late fifties, with salt and pepper hair and wire framed glasses, kind of ironically for an eye specialist. “You’ve been diagnosed with late onset Retinitis Pigmentosa, correct?”
