Zach swallows hard. I realize he’s still holding my hand. “I’m in love with you,” he tells me. “And I want you to have everything. A great life, a great husband, the ability to do whatever you want to do. Including having children, if that’s what you want.”
Tears start to spill down my cheeks. “No!” I say loudly. “No, you don’t get to tell me you love me then push me away. That’s not how this works. You can’t make me fall in love with you then tell me it’s over. You can’t.”
He winces like my words cause him physical pain. “There’s no cure for RP, Sadie. I’m going to get worse. There’s every chance that sometime in the future I won’t be able to do much without assistance. I can’t ask you to stay with me when that’s going to happen.”
I let out a sob. This hurts more than anything I can remember. More than Darien ever hurt me.
And I hate it.
“No,” I whisper. “I can’t lose you.”
He takes a deep breath, his hand squeezing mine tight. “Please, just think about this. Think about the future you want. Think about whether you want to be with me while I’m going through this. That’s all I ask you. Because if you want something different…” his voice cracks. “Then I love you enough to let you go.”
I’m full on crying now. Stupid tears rolling down my face. “So that’s it?”
“That’s it.”
I pull my hand away. God, I hate how alone I feel. I hate how he looks, too, like he’s as hurt as I am.
And deep in my heart, I know it’s not his fault. None of this is. It’s nobody’s.
All I know is that I’ll never get over Zach Fitzgerald. And I don’t want to try.
“You should go home,” he says, his voice low. “Get some rest. It’s been a hell of a night.”
I let out a ragged breath. “You want me to leave?”
Finally his gaze locks on mine. “I think maybe you need to.”
“Okay.” I stand, wanting to kiss him. But also not wanting to. “I’ll be back later.”
“Only if you want to,” he says gently. “But if you don’t, that’s okay, too.”
And because I can’t let him see me fall apart any more than he already has, I nod and turn away, my face crumpling. I stride to the door, wait for it to open, and walk into the corridor, only collapsing onto a chair when the door to his room closes behind me.
ZACH
I watch as the door shuts, feeling sick to my stomach. It was the right thing to do, I know that, but fuck, my heart hurts a million times more than my head.
I hate that I made her cry. I hate this whole fucking situation.
But I can’t sugarcoat what I have in front of me. I’ll come to terms with it, yes. And I know it’s an impairment not a life sentence. But I can’t ask her to commit to me without thinking the situation through.
Leaning over, I press the call button, because I need the nurse to get my family back in here. I need them to be with Sadie. Much more than I need them to be with me. The memory of her face as I told her to leave is seared into my brain.
I love her so fucking much. And it’s killing me.
The door opens and I look up to ask the nurse to find Hudson, only to see Sadie standing there, in the doorway, looking furious.
I blink, because that’s so not what I expected her to look like. And yet it’s so completely her.
The woman who’s taken control of her life. And mine.
“You know what?” she asks, striding toward me. “I’vethought. And here’s what I think. You’re an idiot.” She stands at the side of my bed, glowering down at me. “For thinking I’m phased by your vision loss. Or the fact you can’t have kids. Because I don’t care.” She blinks. “Well I care, of course, about your sight. But I don’t care about the implications for me. I love you, you stupid dick.”
I can’t help it, I start to laugh. Not just because of her expression, but because she’s right. I am a dick.
“You want to know something else?” she asks, not pausing long enough for me to answer. “There’s some things I need to tell you about me, too. I’m a bitch when I’m premenstrual. My hair always clogs the drains. If I drink too much wine I fart constantly.”
