“What about Olivia?”
She glances at Bones and he nods.
“We will raise her with us and if the time comes when you’re ready to take her that’s fine. You can see her as much or as little as you want. If you choose to not be in her life, that’s okay too. As she grows, we’ll be mostly honest with her. She’ll know we are not her parents. We will keep the details to ourselves.”
Killian pulls me into his arms as I sob.
“I want to be ready, but I’m not.”
He strokes my hair tenderly, but it’s Carter’s words that make me feel heard and seen.
“You get to be selfish, Little Heathen. Your entire life has been focused on saving others, protecting them from things you had no control over. It’s okay to put yourself first for a change. The kids matter, but you matter too.”
I shake my head with disbelief.
“Is this life now? I went from being all alone, and now I have all these people around me? Supportive people?”
Bones grins at me.
“It’s called family, Pipsqueak. Welcome to the family, where you belong.”
Chapter Sixty-Four
KNOX
Three Months Later…
Bella knocks on the door lightly before opening the door with her eyes closed.
“Are you decent?”
Killian chuckles, “No, but we are dressed.”
She pops her eyes open and comes in, handing Carter an envelope.
“It’s for all of you.”
She turns to leave, and I ask, “Should we be worried?”
Bella giggles a loud belly laugh as if I told a hilarious joke.
“Not at all. If she runs, it’ll be down the aisle to you, not away from you.”
When she leaves, Carter opens the envelope and clears his throat before reading it out loud.
To my men,
Today has been a very long day. Not being allowed to see you until I walk down the aisle is a cruel form of torture I never want to experience again.
I’m writing you this letter to tell you all the things I will be too choked up to say at the altar.
Carter, you aren’t the man you think you are. You say you’re fucked up, I say you’re as perfect as you claim I am. Bad things happen to good people, and it doesn’t make them evil. You are not your trauma, my love. Anything that happened as a result of that trauma, was not you. Forgive yourself, Carter, so we can be free.
Knox, you taught me about safety. Something I never knew existed. My consent king, my safe place. I’ll never understand how you know the exact right thing to say, but thank you, for being my soft place to land.
Killian, We’ve been through it, haven’t we? I have learned so much from all three of you, but you taught me that forgiveness is an act of love. For yourself and the other person. It was with that forgiveness that I found a path to loving you as I do your brothers. When I saw the real you, how could I not fall?
I panicked when I thought you were making me choose because I never could. I love all three of you equally. You are triplets with distinct personalities. Yet you all share the same heart I fell in love with. Thank you for being mine and never making me choose something that’s impossible.
