“You were right. This is amazing.”
I kiss the top of her head and wrap my arm around her waist.
“I wanted you to experience racing because it’s one of my favorite things. Racing saved me when I was young.”
Heather lays back on the side of the chair and places her legs on my lap. She moans softly when I remove her shoes and rub her feet.
“How did it save you?”
I massage my thumb over her heel as I try to explain it to her.
“I had a lot of anger over my childhood. I’m not comparing what Kill and I went through to Carter. We weren’t beaten, raped, or tortured but it was difficult. When Carter got out of the hospital, our mom was never the same. Imagine two five year olds trying to care for their emotionally unstable brother. We were kids and didn’t understand why he spent all his daysand nights fucking screaming. Or why he wouldn’t speak a damn word.”
I take a long breath attempting to keep control of my emotions.
“It was traumatic when he was taken but it was just as traumatic when he got back home. Watching him, the anguish was visible and as triplets, we could feel it to a degree. I was angry with my mom. My dad. The police for never arresting the people who did terrible things I didn’t even understand to Carter. I have spent my life trying to be strong like Killian and-“
Heather sits up and wipes the tears I hadn't realized are falling down my cheeks.
“It’s fucking exhausting, Tesoro. Anyway, racing gave me an outlet for releasing pent up anger.”
She places her hand on my chest as she speaks in a calm tone.
“No judgment Knox but why were you angry with your mother? Is it because she was so sad?”
I shake my head.
“Not at all. I was and still am angry because she didn’t take care of us. Maybe it wasn’t her fault. Something inside her broke when Carter was taken. For years, we survived on peanut butter sandwiches until we were old enough to cook. The day Killian learned how to make hot dogs was one of my best days. Jesus, I was so glad to not eat peanut butter. Maybe I’m an asshole but it felt like Kill and I didn’t matter. Carter was taken and she gave up like she forgot she had two more little boys that needed to be cared for. We weren’t kidnapped but we were hurting too.”
Heather crawls onto my lap and places her arms around my neck.
“I’m so sorry, Knox. You deserved better. I love you. All of you, even the broken pieces. Please don’t hide from me.”
I sigh audibly as I press my face to her neck, inhaling her scent, allowing it to soothe me as she always does.
“The race started. Let’s go watch.”
We walk to the window and she watches with excitement.
“My money is on number seven.”
I chuckle softly because I knew that would be the one she’d go for. It doesn’t matter to her that Ryan Wilkes is a fucking dick. All that matters to her is that the car is purple.
The first of many date nights is a success. We spend time talking about mundane things, and snack on the buffet. My spirit is a little lighter because of her.
Chapter Sixty-One
KNOX
We have one rule on our one-on-one date nights. Whoever takes her out gets her for the night without an interruption from the other two. Right now, I’m grateful I had this conversation with my brothers ahead of time.
We walk into the bedroom and I close the door behind me.
“Do you remember our conversation about you asking for permission before you have an orgasm?”
She hangs her head down.
“I was hoping you were kidding.”
