He puts me back down, and maybe a little part of me is disappointed. From the look on Rook’s face, he feels the same. I didn’t mean to let them down, but I need to figure out a way to exist with all these men without constantly thinking about sex. I’m worried that I’ll end up using it as a crutch instead of processing everything that’s happened, and numbing the fear of what still lies ahead. Even though I feel safe now, especially with these men, it doesn’t change the fact that my life as I’d known it has been blown to smithereens. I have no idea if I’m going to be able to graduate or what will become of me after I do. I don’t know for sure that my family is still safe, or what they’ll do or where they’ll go once the heat has died down. I don’t want to think about what the cartel will do when they realize Ledger isn’t coming home.
“I can’t hang out this evening,” Rook says, jutting out his lower lip. “Jack’s got me on a job.”
My heart patters, and he must have seen my alarm because he adds, “Don’t worry, it’s nothing dangerous.Just moving some shit around. He’s going to have me doing all the worst jobs for some time to come.”
Feeling guilty now, I nibble at the skin on my lower lip. “I can have a word with him, if you want. See if he’ll let you off.”
“That’s sweet, Camile, but this is my shit, not yours. It’s club business, and I need to take my punishment if I’m ever going to be fully patched in. Having my girlfriend run to the club President because I don’t want to do something isn’t going to look good for me.”
A little thrill goes through me. He just called me his girlfriend! I can’t stop the smile tugging my cheeks. “I understand.”
Ace has gone back to his snails but looks up. “I can be there. I’d like to meet your friends. Have you told them about us yet?”
I arch my brow. “Us?”
He motions between me, Rook and himself. “Yeah,us.”
My smile grows wider. So, wearea thing. Maybe I should feel a little insulted that they’re both just assuming without asking me if I want to make things official, but I’m just too happy to care.
“Do you want me to tell them?” I’m testing the waters.
“Hell, yes.” Ace grabs me again and swings me around until I squeal. “I’d put it on a fucking loudspeaker and announce it to the world if I could.”
He sets me down again and kisses me. I glance over at Rook, who’s grinning.
“Okay. I will, if you’re both all right with it.”
Both guys nod their agreement, and I take turns kissing them.
That evening,I’ve tried to make the house seem as homey as I can, wanting to show it off to Mackenzie, which is dumb, because it’s not like it’s actually my house. It’s just a stopgap until I figure out what the hell my future looks like. One thing I’m feeling more certain of now is my future will have at least a couple of men in it—namely Ace and Rook. Ace is here now, helping me get things ready. He’s brought his snails with him, and the terrarium is now sitting on the sideboard in the living room.
“You know they’re not staying,” I warn him with a shudder.
They better not get out of their glass house.
“Why not? It’s good to have a pet.”
“Yeah, something cute and fluffy, not slimy and gooey.”
He brightens. “Like one of the kittens, once they’re ready to leave their mama?”
“Ace, my life is nowhere near stable enough to take on the responsibility of having a pet. Especially not one that could live for fifteen years. I’m not sure where I’m going to be in fifteen days, never mind that long.”
A frown tugs at his brow, but he doesn’t say anything.
I stare at the snails again. “Why do you like to save things so much, Ace?”
A cloud passes across his handsome features.
“You don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want to.” I backtrack because I don’t want to bring him down. I like happy, upbeat Ace.
He lifts my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckles. “No, it’s okay. I want you to know.” He tugs meover to the couch, and we collapse onto it together. “I’ve always been a bit wild, you know. When I was a kid, I couldn’t sit still, like ever, and I never slept. I drove my parents crazy, because even as a baby and a toddler, I was up all night. They said it nearly broke them.” He gives me a sad smile. “That didn’t change much as I got older, but instead of keeping my parents awake, I was able to keep myself occupied. They didn’t know I would sneak out at night after they fell asleep. I’d just kind of roam around the neighborhood, hang out at the park, kick a can around. Stupid stuff. But it was better than driving myself crazy by sitting in my bedroom all night, waiting for the hours to pass.”
He rubs the bridge of his nose.
“One night, after roaming around, I got back to the house and there was smoke. I didn’t even have a cell phone back then, so I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to call the fire trucks, but the landline was inside the house, and so were my parents.”
My blood has run cold at his story. I think I can already see where this is going.
