She tossed her napkin on the table, slumping in her seat. “Here we are again, huh? I seem to always be the damsel in distress, and you ride in like my knight in shining armor.”
I flinched at her acerbic tone. “That isn’t how I see things, but if you don’t want my help, I won’t give it.”
“No, wait.” She shot forward, resting her hand over mine. “I didn’t mean it like that. You’re great. The best, really. I just hate myself for putting you in the position to come to my rescue. For once in our lives, it would be nice if we were on an even playing field.”
“I’ve known you since we were babies, Zara. My first memory of you is when I was four or five. You had a purple bow that did nothing to hold back your hair, and you were filthy, muddy from hunting morels with your grandpa.”
Her fingers curled over mine. “Were you visiting us?”
“Yeah. You came bursting out of the woods when we were unloading our rental car. You ran so fast and were so excited to see me, you knocked me down on my butt. I wasn’t so sure aboutyou, but by the end of our visit, I was a Zara convert. My mom said she had to pry us apart when it was time for us to leave. I don’t remember that. It’s the purple bow, mud, and tackle crisp in my mind.”
“I bet our parents have pictures.”
“I bet they do.” I flipped my hand over so I could hold hers. “Point is, we’ve known each other forever. I’m no knight, and you’re no damsel. We’re lifelong friends who’ve gone through tough times. Both of us, whether you know it or not.”
Her chest rose as she inhaled. “I wish we hadn’t stopped talking.”
“That’s as much my fault as yours.”
She nodded, rubbing her lips together. “We should have had a conversation like this a long time ago.”
“I don’t know if we were capable.”
“Right.” Her shoulders curled forward. “I was so damn sad, Mac. I didn’t make the right choices because of that. Marrying Jackson aside, my biggest mistake was letting our friendship go without putting up a fight.”
I ran my thumb across her knuckles. The skin on the top of her hand was even softer than it looked, but her palm was calloused, rougher in some spots than others, from climbing and riding and adventuring.
“I should have replied to your texts.”
“Yes. You should have.” Her fingers threaded through mine, holding on tight. “I get why you didn’t.”
They were still there, on my phone. When Hannah’s house almost burned down a few years ago. When Phoebe was injured. After Hannah had her first baby. When Phoebe got married. Zara checked in on me. On my family.
Zara:Maccie…my parents told me what happened to Hannah. Is there anything I can do? For her? For you? Please,tell me. I’m thinking of you guys.
And:
Zara:Please tell me Phoebe’s okay. I can only imagine how terrifiedyouall must have been. Areyouokay, Maccie? If that were Zane…oh, you must have been so scared. If you need to talk, I’m here. No questions asked. Spill it all to me.
And:
Zara:You’re an uncle again! I saw the pictures.Silas is the cutest!My mom showed me a picture of you holding him. You look so happy, Maccie. Just beside yourself. I really hope you’re happy. I mean that.
And:
Zara:I wish I could have come to Phoebe’s wedding. I hear there wasn’t a single dry eye in the house. She deserves the best. I’d say I hope Deke is good to her, but who am I kidding? You Kellys wouldn’t have let him get near her if he wasn’t. I know you won’t reply, but I wanted you to know I’m thinking of you and happy for your family.
And:
Zara:Hey, Maccie. Good news: I’m engaged! Jackson and I are getting married. Can you believe it? I never thought I’d get married this young, but he asked, and who am I to say no?Kidding!I’m excited. Maybe you’llbe happy for me? Maybe you’ll come to the wedding? I wish you would. I miss your face, even after all this time. You know, you could reply. It would be great if you did.
And finally:
Zara:If you had told me back when I was 15 there would be a day you and I would walk right past each other without exchanging a word, I would have laughed. But it happened today, at my wedding. We’re not friends anymore, huh? I’m stupid for thinking there was a chance after all the silence. Message received, Cormac. Loud and clear.
I’d typed and deleted a thousand responses. I’d sent none. Nothing I could’ve said would have been right or honest enough for me.
So I’d let it die. It hadn’t been easy, but it was the best I could do back then.
