“Well…he’s hot—and he lets me watch him pump iron. What’s there to complain about?”
“As long as he doesn’t try to get you to join.”
He gasped. “Steven would never.Iwould never. We’re both perfectly happy with me trotting around on the treadmill every once in a while.”
“Oh, is that what you call running three marathons last year—trotting?”
“That was just for fun.” He chuckled softly. “You sound happier than I’ve heard you in a long time.”
“I really am.” I slouched farther down on the cushions. “It’s only been a few days, but I know I made the right choice coming here.”
“As much as I protest, I think you did too.” He hesitated, then asked, “And Cormac…what’s that situation like?”
I groaned. “I don’t know. Being here makes me miss him. Then I remember what I heard him say to Jackson…and how he was in college.”
“Right.”
“But we were such good friends…” I said quietly. “All the memories are flooding back. He was so good to me, Zane. I really thought we’d be best friends for life. Remember when he flew out after Mom’s surgery?”
I fell against his chest—fell and fell and fell until he wrapped his long arms around me, stopping me from hitting the ground.
“You’re shaking,” he murmured, nuzzling my hair.
I tried to shove myself beneath his skin. “I needed you so badly, Maccie.”
“I’m here. I’ve got you.”
I shook my head against his chest. “My dad was crying this morning. He was holding my mom’s hand, sobbing his guts out. He doesn’t—I didn’t even know he could cry like that. That can’t be good, right? That has to mean something.”
“I think it just means he loves her and hates seeing her in pain.” He held me tighter. “I think it means he’s scared.”
“I’m scared too.” A shiver ran through me, making me lean into him even harder. “It’s less now that you’re here.”
“Nowhere else I’d rather be,” he whispered.
“Of course. You were pretending to be a little badass about it all. Then that boy showed up, and you fell apart, and he caught you.” Zane sniffed. “I’d kinda thought there was something there…”
“It wasn’t like that.”
Once upon a time, I’d thought it might become like that. When we were thirteen and fifteen, fourteen and sixteen, fifteen and seventeen, the two years between us had seemed like a lifetime. But in my dreamy teenage mind, I’d imagined one day our age difference wouldn’t matter. Then my mom got sick, and all my hopes narrowed to one thing: her getting well.
“Mmmhmm. Try to work on sounding more convincing next time,” Zane teased.
I laughed. “Really. Cormac was a really great friend. Being here is making me face some things I haven’t had to, though, and I’m wondering if it was me who screwed us up. I leaned on him a lot—probably too much.”
He pulled in a breath through his teeth. “If that’s what made him act like a jackass, good riddance.”
“I’m not saying it is. I’m saying I don’t know. I feel like maybe I was the jackass for never asking him what happened.”
“You had a lot going on.”
“I did, but…I think I made a mistake letting our friendship die without even putting up a little fight.”
Cormac had been starting his junior year at Savage U when I arrived on campus. He had a whole life and friend group, and even though he’d seemed happy to see me and had welcomed me with open arms, I’d wanted to establish my own life too.
Then, Jackson happened.
He’d found me, caught me, kept me, and I hadn’t objected to any of it. I’d gotten so swept up in him. Before I knew it, Cormac would barely look at me, and Jackson had become the center ofeverything.
