“I was telling him about the interview without much enthusiasm, and he knocked some sense into me, reminding me there was no reason to drown just because the ship I’d chosen to set sail on was sinking. It was really hard for me to hear. I don’t know why I’m so stubborn, but I’m working on not getting in the way of myself. That’s why I canceled the interview. I didn’t want that job, even if, on paper, it was perfect for me.”
“Paper doesn’t tell the whole story.” I turned to kiss her palm. “Why didn’t you tell me you’d canceled it?”
“Because I hadn’t decided what it meant yet…and I was scared.”
“Scared?” My brow furrowed. “What were you scared of?”
“Screwing up. Making the wrong decision about my career”—her voice dropped to a whisper—“us. I’m afraid it’s too soon to uproot my life and go all in with you, but I’m even more terrified if I don’t, we won’t work out, and I’ll lose you all over again.”
“Zara, I—”
“There’s more, Mac. I’m afraid to take Javier’s job and not like it. And what if I’m not good at it and you have to fire me? What if I’m great at it, but working together every day is too much? And do I love Wyoming because it’s a vacation, or is this where I really belong? I’ve been asking myself a thousand questions, searching my brain and heart for the answers, and I didn’t want to pull you into that until I was clear on where I stood.”
“Are you clear? Do you need help talking it through?” I asked, barely daring to hope this might be going where I wanted it to.
“I wasn’t really clear until you showed up and asked me to stay.”
I almost laughed. “Don’t think I did much asking.”
“No, but you were very convincing anyway.” Her arms circled my neck. “I realized all my questions don’t matter. The job will work out or it won’t. That isn’t what’s important, and when it comes down to it, it’s not really a factor.”
“Whatisa factor?”
“You, Cormac. You’re the only factor.”
My heart gave a wild thump, sending my pulse skittering. “Tell me what you’re saying. Give it to me plainly.”
The smile she gave was the sweetest thing I’d ever seen, like sugar and Christmas lights and down feathers.
“For me, it’s always you. You set it right. ”
“Set what right?”
“Everything. Me, my mind, my heart, my soul.” Pausing, breathless, she nibbled on her bottom lip. “I mean, I don’t know for sure souls are even real, but around you, I feel like mine is.”
Blood rushed in my ears as heat climbed up from my chest. “I...set your soul right?”
“You do.” Her fingers slid into the hair at my nape, gentle as a breeze. “When we were apart, I was off balance. Like I was missing an important, integral piece that keeps me steady. When I’m with you, I feel the most complete. It’s always been that way. I think that’s probably because you’re my soulmate. Our souls know each other, and they fit because they’re supposed to. We set each other right.”
I didn’t know what the fuck to say. “Zara—Christ. You’re killing me.”
“I hope not. We’re going to start our life together, Mac, so you can’t die.” Her smile was bracketed by twin tears trailing down her cheeks.
My eyes were burning, my chest so heavy, it was like breathing underwater.
“You’re staying?” I asked, testing the shape of it.
“Yes. I’m staying with you.” She wiggled closer, putting us chest to chest. Her heart rattled and leaped for mine. “I want the job, but it’s not the reason. You are. I want the same thing as you: to build a real life together. The one we were always meant to have, if only I could have seen it.”
“No.” I shook my head. “No, we’re not gonna put blame on either of us. It doesn’t matter. We’re here, and you just told me I’m your soulmate. Everything else is behind us. Got it?”
“Yeah.” Another tear fell, and damn if it didn’t pull one or two from me with it. “I got it. It’s behind us.”
Relief flooded me so fast my hands started shaking. I pulled her against me and buried my face in her neck, taking my first deep breath since I’d walked into this house, and it was filled with her.
I hadn’t realized until that second how certain I’d been that she might choose differently.
It was going to take some time to sink in, but I’d let it.
