“Lord…” I whispered, my voice barely there, trembling with the rawness of my emotion.
I slid down onto the edge of the tub, curling my knees to my chest, wiping my face, but the tears kept pouring forth, each one a release of the overwhelming stress that gripped me.
“Lord, I’m trying. I’m trying so hard to hold everything together,” I whispered into the quiet, my breath shaking as I poured out my heart. The words continued to spill out because, at that point, prayer felt less like talking and more like a desperate plea for survival.
“You see everything I’m carrying—the bills, the stress, Kyrin being sick, Mama being Mama, andmetrying to be strong for everybody when I barely know what I’m doing myself.”
I took a deep sniff, the salty tang of tears still lingering, and wiped my damp face again with the back of my hand.
“They say you don't put more on people than they can bear… but Lord, sometimes it really feels like you be testing that theory with me. But I trust you… I do.”
My hands folded together instinctively, fingers interlocking as if seeking support in their clasp.
“I just need strength—real strength—not the kind that’s merely a façade where I wear a smile so people think I’m okay, but the kind that roots me in place when everything around me is crumbling into chaos.”
I closed my eyes tightly, trying to block out the noise of doubt that threatened to creep in.
“And if I’m about to walk into something tonight that’s risky, please watch over me and protect me. Please don’t let this decision come back to hurt the people I love,” I added, my heart pounding. “Protect Kyrin, too.”
A pause lingered heavily.
“And my mama… even though she gets on my nerves more often than not.”
A weak laugh escaped me, mingling with the moisture of my tears and the heaviness in my chest.
“You know my heart, Lord. You know I ain’t out here trying to be evil or reckless. I’m not even asking for riches or fame; I’m just a sister trying to save her brother.” My voice dropped to a whisper, filled with urgency. “I just… need a fast way to help my brother.”
I stood and walked over to the mirror. My reflection stared back at me. My eyes were red and swollen, evidence of a long day filled with worry, and my face looked tired. But somewhere beneath it all, there was still something flickering—determination.
I pointed at my reflection. “Get it together, Ajori,” I muttered fiercely.
I wiped under my eyes, erasing the traces of my vulnerability, and straightened my shoulders, pulling back the weight of my fears.
“You’ve survived worse days than this,” I reminded myself, drawing strength from my resolve. A deep breath filled my lungs, expanding my chest.
“You’re doing this for Kyrin,” I repeated, each word a mantra. Another breath fueled my spirit. “And quitting is not an option.”
I nodded once at my reflection; a silent pact made between me and the woman in the glass.
“Now go make something shake.”
***
I was back at the warehouse.
Marcos leaned back slightly in his chair while I sat across from him, trying not to look as nervous as I felt.
"First run’s local, like I told you the other day. For the first week or so, they all will be... just enough for you to get a feel for how everything works. If you’re comfortable by the end of week two, we’ll scale you up… distance and pay.”
“How much is the pay?” I inquired.
Marcos’s eyes flickered with a hint of surprise. “Yeah, you are different. Most people would’ve been asked that question. But for you… the first one you’ll receive will be ten thousand.”
“Ten thousand?!” I shrieked before quickly covering my mouth.
A smirk played at the corner of Marcos’s lips, a mix of amusement and satisfaction.
“Yeah… that’s what I said. Usually, a newbie only gets about half of that,especiallyfor the distance you’re going. But…”
