“I don’t care how many times you’ve apologized,” I hissed. “That doesn’t change what you did.Youshot me in that damn house. All I’ve been trying to do is pick up the pieces and make a life worth living afteryoutook it away from me!” Heavy breaths rattled through me, the wisps of the dark sky drifting down like fog around us. “But I’m as much to blame, aren’t I? I was stupid enough to make friends with the people who tried to kill me.”
Although Cliff’s expression remained fixed and unreadable, something flickered in his eyes—unbearably, beautifully green up close. Compassionate eyes. But I wanted to scratch them out.
“I wish I had never met him,” I breathed. “I wish I had never met either of you.”
Finally, there it was: a fissure in his stony expression. Pain that I could be proud of inflicting. I wondered what was goingthrough his mind—that he regretted coming here now? He couldn’t leave until I allowed him to, after all.
When he lurched closer to me, I held my ground, ready for—what? Cruel words shouted in my face? A physical blow?
Fresh tears built in my eyes as I clenched my fists at my sides, hoping the realm might allow me to feel a new pain to mask the clawing at my heart.
The space between Cliff and me closed into nothing. I braced myself as his arms seized me, but the next instant, I found myself held against him in a tight hug.
I stood there stiffly, understanding the gesture, yet unable to fathom it.
He bowed his head closer to my ear. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. Then he pressed a long kiss to the top of my head, and my tears finally spilled over.
As I breathed him in, my arms desperately latched around him. His body was like a firm, reassuring wall around me, grounding my shaky feet. I wept into his shirt, painfully aware that he was the only thing keeping me upright.
9
Jon
“Can I heal him?”
Those had been Sylvia’s first words to Delilah when she and Cliff resurfaced from the spectral plane.
Of course, nothing could be that simple. Delilah confirmed my suspicions. Any damage I’d received would be too complex, too risky to attempt blindly healing. Tampering recklessly with spellwork could easily do more harm than good.
Fuck, the way Sylvia’s face had crumpled made me want to throw everything away to hold her close. But I didn’t have the luxury of indulging that fantasy. The plan needed to be set in motion, and I couldn’t borrow time from the spectral plane anymore. Tammy was counting on us to find her, not to mention the fate of countless innocent lives.
There was so much to say, but time wasn’t on our side. In fact, it was starting to feel like time was actively rooting against our happiness. The Crimson Gala had begun, and we couldn’t afford the whispered comforts we so desperately wanted to offer each other. All I managed to do before we left was give her delicatehands a small squeeze and assure her in a soft voice:I’m fine. I’m okay.
But was I?
If I were being honest with myself, I was shaken by the thought of not being able to wield the strange flavor of magic in the spectral plane anymore. It was a foreign, bitter thing fluttering across my mind. I was human; I knew better than to mingle with magic of any form. I never should have ventured so far in trying to control it there.
Still, I couldn’t push the image of Sylvia’s dazzling smile whenever I’d managed to make the shadows swirl around our reclined forms in our sanctuary. Her breathless laughter was like bottled sunshine—an angelic sound that felt undeserving for the likes ofme.
That had to be what was dragging me down. Surely, this hollow gnawing was purely for losing access to my private world with Sylvia, where we could be alone and equals.
Liar, a voice hissed in my head.
I squared my jaw. If I didn’t admit to Cliff that I’d miss the feeling of wielding fae magic, would that make it any better?
Pushing the guilt down, I refocused on the far more important fact that I wasalive. Judging by Delilah’s face, this was nothing short of a goddamn miracle. I was lucky, and it was hard not to let the knowledge of how close I’d brushed against death make the trained steadiness in my hands break into a tremor.
Whatever stars Sylvia had been praying to these last few months, maybe they were looking out for me too.
For now, at least.
We left the hotel in two staggered groups, spacing fifteen minutes before Lee and I followed downstairs. Security was, as Lee had predicted, an absolute fortress to get through. We filed into one of five lines to be processed. Guests were asked to provide their invitation and step through a metal detector,followed by a full-body patdown. Phones and weapons were strictly forbidden without exception. There were no fewer than six armed security details on the upper floor watching at fixed points. The facilitators of this event were sparing no expense in ensuring whatever happened in this roomstayedin there.
Despite hating how the tux jacket restricted my range of movement, I had to concede that Lee was right. The clothes we’d walked in with would have been an eyesore in this sea of silk dresses and tailored suits. This looked like any other upper-class crowd eager to donate to the cause of the night, if not for the spark of hunger I caught in so many gazes. An excitement that didn’t sit well with me. An air of palpable anticipation that set my hair on end.
I held my breath when I passed off my invitation to the greeter at the checkpoint. For a moment, I worried Lee and Delilah had given us false papers, that this was all some insanely elaborate trap.
But the greeter turned my invitation in the light to reveal the iridescent text and gave me a cordial smile. “Welcome to the Crimson Gala.”
