I don't know why I press, it's none of my business. The gods know this is a door I should leave closed for my ownsake. Unable to stop my curious tongue, I venture forth into dangerous territory.
"Were there others?"
If the meadow around us wasn't already dead, her withering gaze would've turned it to ash.
"I became Queen at sixteen. My realm started dying soon after. I vowed not to marry to honor my betrothal. Taking a lover seemed in poor taste when many of my subjects were suffering."
I try not to seem too pleased with this information.
It wouldn't matter to me if she had been with a hundred males. I was hardly untouched myself. However, to hear the truth from her lips that this beautiful female has never had anyone give her pleasure makes something spark in my chest.
A need to teach her how pleasurable life can be. To learn her body as well as her mind and be the only one to bring her to such heights.
I really can’t leave without a taste of her now. It would be a shame for her to perish along with me unkissed.
"What about you?" she asks. "Is there someone in the human realm awaiting your return?"
The headiness from her confession dissipates into a bucket of cold water being thrown over me. I rub the back of my neck, unable to meet her gaze.
"Uh, no—not at present. I'm an adventurer, Queenie. A ship that longs for the seas, not a port. A bird that seeks the skies, not a nest. A?—"
"I understand. No more metaphors, please." Crossing her arms over her chest, her wings send a rose-scented wind into my face. "So you've never?—"
I can’t hide my cringe.
"I have, Queenie. Many times, with many different people."
"Oh."
One word and it burns me alive.
How can I make her understand? Is she upset by the fact that I've had lovers? Repulsed by it? I didn't know she existed, didn't know someone so perfect was out there.
Had I known there was someone who made me feel the way she does, I would've waited.
If things had been different.
It's almost like I've been dropped into my perfect life as a spectator. A final test to see all that could’ve been mine had I been born amongst my people. The price of my fairy wish is forsaking it all in order to gain freedom.
It is a sweet fantasy to wonder how life would’ve played out had I been raised in this realm. Taught to embrace my magic instead of shoving it down. If I had not been placed into the human world things between us could flourish.
If we had been born around the same time in the same world, we'd never have to say goodbye.
"How old are you, Queenie?"
She blinks up at me, clearly thrown off by my question. I don't want to talk about previous lovers anymore. I want to know more about her.
Licking over her teeth, she wrinkles her small nose.
"Two and a half centuries."
My feet pause in the grass. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but that answer is a surprise nonetheless.
"You don't look a day over twenty-five."
Arden nods.
"Fairies reach full maturity around then. I won't start to age again until I see seven centuries."
