“They’ll be right behind us,” Jasper says from a couple of meters ahead of me, and I have to shake myself back into the present. I hadn’t even realized I’d stopped walking to watch. Jasper is watching me watching. “Come on, we should hit the road. We still need to swing into Brooklyn to get Omar.”
“Right,” I say, somehow unable to pull myself away. Jericho has been slid into the back of the van with Tobias and the healers. Two of his security wolves are closing the doors. I watch until they jump into the front seats and the lights flick on. “Coming.”
I hustle to catch up to Jasper.
Trees and fences whoosh by as we speed upstate. Omar is in the back seat, resting his head on the window with his eyes closed. Clearly, the early start hasn’t agreed with him. Jasper is back in the driving seat, and while I kind of miss being behind the wheel, I’m glad to have this moment to stare out the window and take in the scenery.
The last time I made this drive was with my mom and Katie on the way to the Blue Moon Festival that started everything. I had no idea then that my life would change so irrevocably, so completely.
Back then I was just a kid, wishing I didn’t have to take part in a dumb mating ritual, and now I’m sitting next to my pack’s future alpha, the guy I’m in love with and who, after way too much angst and hesitation, loves me back.
I let my forehead rest against the glass and enjoy how the coolness spreads through my skin.
I wish Jasper and I were heading to the pack retreat for a couples getaway, to spend some time in the woods where we met, canoeing on the lake, eating s’mores around a fire, retracing the steps of those early days when we couldn’t have been less on the same page, instead of driving to what is soon to be repurposed as a battleground, to fight for our pack and our way of life.
There’s a lot I wish was different about this moment, but as I turn my attention from the passing woodlands to Jasp, backlit by the rising sun, I also feel this deep sense that life has turned out pretty amazing.
Without reading my mind Jasper instinctively moves his hand from the gearshift to my knee.
“Not long now,” he says, and I slip my fingers between his.
We take the turnoff to the retreat, just like last time. The narrow path that leads through the trees, once marked with welcoming flags and banners, is now empty. This could be any other dirt road, winding through any other forest. Finally, we emerge from the tree line to the parking lot. Unlike last time, when hundreds of cars filled the lot, the only other vehicle present is Jericho’s black van.
“Huh, they beat us here,” I say.
“Must have overtaken us while we went to pick up Snoozy back there.” Jasper gestures toward the back seat with his head. “We should go see how the journey affected my father.”
“Sure.”
“We here?” Omar croaks and I look back to find him blinking his tired eyes open.
“Yep,” I say. “Welcome to the pack retreat.”
With a crunch my foot hits gravel as I step out of the car. Before unloading our luggage, I walk up the short incline,through a line of trees to the top of the hill that slopes down toward the campsite. The last time I was here the place was buzzing with movement, wolves with luggage all heading toward the cabins that sit behind the massive lodge at the center. Now the buildings are empty and the world feels quiet. Behind the cabins is a field and beyond that the lake. Even the surface of the water is more still and clear than I remember. In the distance are more woods and rising from the treetops are the gray, rugged mountains. Though the summer sky is clear, a dark bank of clouds hangs over the mountaintops, like something ominous is waiting to descend.
“Look familiar?” Jasper asks, stopping at my side with his bag, dropping it in the dirt.
“Yeah, but it’s strange. I thought it would look different for some reason.”
Jasper nods. “A lot’s changed.”
We slip our hands into each other’s. “You ready?” I ask.
He waits a moment, taking a long breath. “I’ll get there.”
Omar brings up the rear, so I head back to the car and gather my things, and together the three of us head toward the camp.
Flashes of memory spring to life before me. Katie and I staring in awe at the sheer number of wolves all giving off ridiculous amounts of pheromones, and all looking fit as hell. Eleanor, the camp volunteer who would turn out to be so much more unhinged than our first impression belied. The first time I laid eyes on Aisha Miller, or at least, the first time I’d seen her not on stage. The bonfire where I got too drunk and had to be helped back to my cabin by Jasper. Capture the flag and eventually the Mating Run itself.
As we enter through the front doors of the Alpha’s Lodge, the smell of pine hits me and I’m taken aback for a second. We wander through to the great hall, which was once lit up like Christmas but now sits in shadow, the antler chandeliersmotionless and dark. I stop in the middle of the room, looking up at the balcony where Jasper arrived that first night, the alpha’s son on display. Though of course we’d run into each other before—literally—this was the moment I knew in my heart I was doomed to love him forever.
Not that I knew it at the time or could admit it to myself. But something about that moment stirs a strange feeling in my chest, like my heart is expanding.
We were so far apart back then. Him up high, stoic and unmoving. Me, staring up at him, awed and dumbstruck.
“What’s up?” he says, a few feet in front of me.
“Nothing,” I say. “Just memories.”
