His warmth and his strength bolster me up, and thank the moon gods, because my legs are so freaking weak. They’re quivering so much I’m worried they might topple out from under me.
“Wait,” Jasper says, ripping himself away once more.
“What is it?” I ask.
He wipes his face with a hand.
“Ugh, I mean, probably nothing.”
“No.” I squeeze him a little tighter. “Tell me. What is it?”
His eyes roll back for a second and then he lets out a sigh and shakes his shoulders like he’s tossing off a shiver.
“You won’t believe it, but Tobias has been on me again.”
Oh, this.
“About the marking ceremony? Really?”
“I know, I know. But he said with you off traveling around helping rogues it might ... look better, I guess, for the pack if we were—if there was—”
“If we were committed to each other publicly.”
Jasper exhales sharply, relieved to have gotten this out. “Exactly.”
“But you know I love you right? You know there’s nothing out there that can change that?”
“Of course, of course I do.” He runs both hands up and down my back. “And I feel the same. I will never stop loving you. No matter what.”
“But you want it, don’t you?” I ask.
He doesn’t say anything back, but his eyes suddenly look sort of wistful, like a sad puppy’s, melting my heart.
“I’m not saying I never want to be marked.” I cradle his face in one hand. “Before, it felt too soon, and maybe it doesn’t feel so out of the question now. But ...”
I let my head drop because, whether I want us to be marked or not, there is one aspect of this whole scenario that’s always given me the ick.
“But what?” he says, and he looks so lost all of a sudden, so vulnerable.
“But if we did do it, I don’t know that I’d want it to be this big public thing. I think I’d like it to be private. Something that’s shared just between you and me. The pack can find out after the whole thing has gone down.”
“Totally understandable,” he says, clearly relieved. “And I’m not saying I want to make it a whole big spectacle either.”
“Yeah, I mean, I get why it’s important to the pack, but this isn’t about the pack for me. It’s about us.”
Under the moonlight Jasper looks so freaking gorgeous. His features, which used to seem so hard and intimidating, now seem soft and open. His eyes shine a brilliant shade of emerald, his freckles are popping. His lips are ones I could kiss endlessly.
“You know,” I say. “Traditionally it’s the alpha who marks the luna, right?”
He squints questioningly. “Yes?”
“Since when have we ever done things the traditional way?”
He shakes his head like he can’t quite comprehend. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying, you’re ready for this, and I think I still need a little more time, so for now what if instead of you marking me—” I pause, a little bit to steel myself for what I’m about to say, and also a little for effect, because I’m still a sucker for a touch of drama. “What if I marked you?”
Jasper casts his gaze to the ground, his cheeks obviously flushing even in the dim light.
