“And then the rogue attack at the Hamptons.” Now she turns to me with red, strained eyes and lips squished into an unpleasant squiggly line. “You haven’t been yourself, Max. And you won’t tell us what’s happening.”
Dad swallows uncomfortably and clutches the armrests of his chair.
“How are we supposed to protect you, Max, when you won’t let us?”
Jeez,first Jasper and now my parents; everyone is obsessed with protecting me.
“I’m fine, Mom. I was just shopping.”
She bows her head and wipes at her cheek so quickly I know she doesn’t want me to see her like this. Who knew shopping was such a dangerous activity?
“You used to talk to us, sweetie. You used to tell us things and now it’s like…like you don’t want us to know what’s going on in your life.”
“It’s called being a teenager, Mom.”
She snorts a bitter laugh and Dad reaches out to place a reassuring hand on her knee.
“Here’s the thing,” he says, in as authoritative a tone as he can muster, trying to bring some semblance of calm back to the room. “What happened in the Hamptons was a message to the pack, that we aren’t as safe as we thought. And this is causing a lot of tension—tension between the packs and those who would undermine everything we stand for.”
“You mean the rogues,” I say with a huff. “I told you they’re not all like that. When I was in Rogue City I saw—”
“I know,” he continues while Mom composes herself, taking a breath and lifting her head to listen. “Believe me I know not all rogues are bad, and the pack system isn’t perfect either. But there are dangerous people out there. And it isn’t just the rogues. There is tension within the pack as well.”
I furrow my brow. “I don’t understand.”
“There are people who feel the recent attack is proof that the alpha has lost control over our borders. There are some who think he should be deposed.”
Instantly, I begin running scenarios in my head where Jericho isn’t the alpha anymore and Jasper is no longer the alpha’s son—just a normal wolf, like me. Would things be different then? Could we be together? Is this burgeoning mutiny part of the reason I haven’t heard from him?
“What does any of this have to do with me buying clothes?”
“The pack isn’t as safe as it once was,” Mom says slowly, her words considered and deliberate, as she studies the coffee table. “And we need to know that you’re safe. But we can’t do that if you don’t talk to us. Haven’t we told you we can handle anything? You can tell us anything.”
“I know,” I say, rubbing the back of my neck. “I know.”
“So then what’s going on?”
Suddenly, I’m aware that I’m still wearing my coat and beanie and I’m starting to sweat. I grab my beanie and shove it in my pocket, then ruffle my flattened hair. She wants me to talk but I still don’t know how to. I don’t know how to tell them that I’m not what they’ve been expecting their whole lives. They want me to confide in them, but how can I when my very existence is in opposition to the structure of our society? Dad has devoted his life to the pack, working as a pack accountant since he left college. On some level I know—I knowit would be fine if I told them about me and Jasper… About me. That I’m…Fuck!
I can’t even say it to myself! So how am I supposed to tell them? How am I supposed to tell them when doing so puts me in danger of the thing I’m most scared of—losing them.
“I…I…”
The words won’t come. As much as I want them to, they won’t.
Mom sighs, clutching her forehead as if I’m giving her the biggest migraine.
“At least tell me one thing,” she says. “Why were you invited to the Yule Ball? They don’t invite just anyone. The Moon Gods know your father and I have never been. Can you at least explain how that’s happened?”
My whole body is starting to quiver—so much my skin might actually vibrate off. My head is empty and likely to float from my body. There’s only one reason I can think of that makes any sense. And it’s the one thing I can’t say out loud. Not to my parents.
I shrug hopelessly and Mom exhales, clearly frustrated beyond belief.
“Okay, if you won’t tell us that then could you at least tell us what happened the night of the Harvest Moon Celebration?”
“I told you what happened—”
“No, Max. You gave us a vague synopsis and then never brought it up again.”
