Another tiny step.
“When I become alpha I want my pack to be happy, but that shouldn’t come at the expense of my happiness, should it?”
His hand finds mine, and he entwines my fingers with his.
“Won’t a happy alpha make for a happier pack?”
His other hand slides over my hip bone and pulls me in closer. All of my senses start firing up––my body cascades with tingles and shivers.
“And you make me happy, Max.”
He lets go of my hand to run a thumb down the angle of my jaw.
“I know it may not seem like it,” he says, laughing a little, more relaxed than I think I’ve ever seen him. “I know I’ve been kind of an asshole.”
I huff and roll my eyes but can’t help the grin threatening to curve my lips.
“And as much as I’ve tried to push you away, to put distance between us, the only time I feel okay—happy—is when I’m with you.”
He pulls me even closer, till our chests are pressed together, and my heart is beating faster than the speed of light. There is no breath left in my lungs.
“I can’t lose you.”
Jasper’s lips find mine. He presses his mouth to mine gently but with certainty. And I relax into the kiss. I don’t know what I’m going to do, but if this is our last kiss, why not enjoy it, right? As if he knows exactly where my body wants them to be, he slides his hands down until one is cradling the back of my neck and the other is on the small of my back. My legs are a weak cliché, my stomach is fluttering like a swarm of cotton-candy bats have just woken up. And there’s a new sensation, too—a warmth, a feeling of real connection, like putting on your favorite sweater or reading by a fire—spreading from Jasper’s body to mine.
When we pull apart, there’s a tear just beginning to form in one of Jasper’s eyes, and an easy smile on his lips.
“I could do that all night,” he says.
“Ahuh,” is all I manage to reply.
Then suddenly our romantic moment is shattered by the honking of a car horn.
“Hey, you getting in or not?” the cab driver yells. I’d forgotten he was there, idling at the curb waiting to take me home, away from Jasper and the path he’s laid out before me.
“Max,” Jasper says, taking both of my hands in his. “Will you be my boyfriend…again?”
I stare at him in wonder. I’ve never felt like this before, not even with him. This protective warmth, this sense of connectivity. But I know saying yes means more than it seems. Dating Jasper isn’t the same as dating anyone else. It won’t all be cute coffee dates, or holidays with hot tubs. There will be danger; there will be people—important, powerful people—who want to tell us how to live our lives. And there will always be that voice at the back of my mind wondering whether I’m the most important thing to Jasper, or whether there’s something he cares about more.
“Buddy, you coming or not?!” the cab driver yells.
I gulp down the lump in my throat.
“It’s almost midnight,” Jasper says as we’re whisked back up into the stars. “Here, take this.”
He pulls off his jacket and hands it to me. Even without it he looks dashing, his shoulders wide, and his crisp white shirt tucked tight into his waistband. Before the elevator arrives I manage to swap out my torn and somewhat bloodstained jacket for Jasper’s pristine, amazing-smelling one.
My heart hasn’t stopped racing since Jasper kissed me. But as we ascend the levels of the packhouse I start to wonder if I’m making the same mistakes all over again.
He asked me out, which was kind of dumb, but also totally adorable. And maybe it’s my blood-wolf senses or just a result of everything we’ve been through, but I want to trust Jasper when he says he’s done bowing to the whims of others. That he’s ready to put his happiness—and mine, by extension—first. But what if this elevator is only leading me into more trouble, more doubt.
Jasper wasn’t just asking me out, he was asking me to take a risk. There’s no guarantee he won’t revert back to his jerky, alpha-focused self at the first sign of trouble. But I think, and I hope—I really really hope—the risk will be worth it. And after all, the paths we take aren’t laid out before us, predetermined and set in stone; they’re the paths we create. So before the doors ping open I decide to make a choice. Without sacrificing my own well-being, I’m going to trust Jasper and take this risk with him.
As we arrive at level ninety-nine, Jasper gives my hand one quick squeeze before the doors open, but as we step back into the still-thrumming party, he lets go.
I hesitate in the elevator, suddenly unsure, not knowing if I’ve made the right choice.
Jasper slaps a hand onto the metallic frame to stop the doors from closing.
