We sit in this warm little ball for a second, everyone’s cheeks damp. And a part of me begins to wonder if they’re overcompensating somewhat, like maybe it isn’t as okay as they’re making out, but they don’t want me to feel bad. So I open up my mind just a little and let the buzzing of voices that have been pressing on the edge of my brain seep through. And even though my head is suddenly full of noise, there isn’t any pain. None of the sharp, stabbing pangs from the mountains. There’s just this warm, sort of glowing sensation, like a protective blanket wrapping itself around my heart.
When finally my parents sit back, dismantling their Max sandwich, Mom laughs a little and wipes away a tear. She grins at Dad and I know she’s relieved.
“Told you it was nothing to worry about,” Dad says, and Mom swats at his arm.
“So how did you, you know, discover this about yourself?” Mom says, curiosity getting the better of her.
I knew this was going to be the tricky bit, how to explain things without outing Jasper at the same time.
“I sort of started to realize over the summer, at the Blue Moon Festival.”
They share a knowing glance.
“Does that mean…?” Mom asks. “Did you find your mate?”
I roll my eyes, because even though I’ve wanted to say this for the longest time, it’s still embarrassing.
“Yeah,” I say.
Mom does this happy squeal noise and Dad pats me on the back.
“Who’s the lucky wolf?” Dad asks.
“The thing is I…can’t say. He’s not out yet.”
“I see.” Mom’s tone is empathetic, like she knows how hard it must be for him.
“Well, if he ever wants to come over, I’ll be happy to make him a steak sandwich,” Dad says.
“Is that why you didn’t want to tell us sooner?” Mom asks.
Ha! If only she knew.
“Sort of, I guess. But also I was still figuring things out. And to be honest I didn’t know if I was gay or if I just had a guy for a mate. And what I’ve learned recently is that this is me, I have this identity, and whether I’m with him or not, it’s important for me to know who I am and be true to that. And that’s why I wanted you to know, because actually this isn’t about having a mate or whatever, this is just…me.”
Mom leans back, fixing the cuff of my hoodie, which turned inside out during the group hug, and when she looks back up she’s crying again.
“What?” I ask, laughing.
“It’s just… When did you get so grown-up?”
I can’t help it; I roll my eyes again. “Sometime between turning twelve and now I guess.”
My parents stare at me like I’ve just graduated law school or won the lottery, which I guess I have in a way, to have such supporting folks. But this mushy scene is getting too much, so before this can become even more of a cheesy daytime movie, I stand up and head back toward my bag, still sitting in the hall.
“I’m going to unpack.”
“You hungry, buddy?” Dad asks. “Want me to make you something?”
“Yeah that’d be great.”
I hoist my pack over my shoulder and make for the stairs.
“Max,” Mom calls before I can disappear, “thank you for telling us.”
I smile back at her, feeling stupidly grateful, and then I remember, there’s another massive change I should probably tell them about…
“Oh, I nearly forgot there’s something else…”
