“We need to talk. Look, no one needs to, uh, know? Right?”
He stares at my, one eyebrow lifted, as though he's daring me to say more.
“About, uh. You know.”
Suddenly, the awkwardness of the scene washes over me. I've stormed into his room just past dawn to, what? Yell at him for being kissed?
“No, I don't know.”
“About what happened at your party.”
He stares at me, passive and aloof.
“Onthe fire escape.”
I'm frantic now, needing him to justunderstand.
“The kiss, Jamie.” I hiss at him.
“Kiss? Did we kiss?”
For a moment, I wonder if I imagined it.
“Because I'm pretty sure you have a very clear hockey-players-do-not-kiss-boys rule. And that would be a clear violation of it.”
“To be clear, it's a hockey-players-do-not-talk-about-kissing-boys rule. So really, this is a bigger violation.”
He stares at me, processing that for a moment.
“So you're gay. Or bi?”
A look of confusion crosses his face, as though he's trying to do a hard math problem.
“It doesn't matter.”
“It doesn't matter?Are you fucking with me right now?”
Anger wars with surprise on his face. This is the face I've always imagined when my team found out – this combination ofis it possibleandhow could you?
“Look, you're clearly not interested in what I was offering. You don't have to get like this about it.”
“Ethan, I haveneverbeen so hard up for an orgasm that I'd fuck a self-loathing closet case for it.”
I try not to show how hard that hits me, try to hold his eye with a straight face.
“All I'm asking is that you respect my privacy and not talk about it with...anyone.”
“About how the captain of the Minnesota Huskies, future hall-of-famer Ethan Tremblay, is queer?”
I feel rage boil up inside me, and underneath it fear.
“Are you telling me I need to call my agent? Tell him what to expect?”
My breath comes faster and I feel my heart start to speed up in my chest. I start playing out the conversations in my head, with Jack, with my dad, with the press...
“I'm not gonna talk. I can't believe you think I would.”
The relief is instantaneous, like breathing again after being submerged too long.
