Ethan shrugs.
“I dunno. I barely know the guy. But he seems pretty aboveboard. I’m guessing he wants to talk about how it will play in the locker room. Maybe whether there’s anything or anyone in the org who made me feel like I couldn’t do this ten years ago. I mean, he’s new here. He probably wants to know if there’s any…toxicity he’s not aware of.”
“Is there?”
He thinks about this, and as he does, we pull up to the airport. He grabs his bags from the back – I’m traveling light, with just my wallet and the clothes I left Los Angeles with. We go through the check-in process and proceed to the gate. It’s already full, so we stand against a wall nearby.
“Nothing in particular. The same attitudes you’ve seen, though they’ve gotten better each year. Our old coach was…well, let’s just say my dad really liked him. But even then, it was nothing explicit. Just an overwhelming knowledge that Ishouldn’t.”
I nod, knowing what he means. So often people think they’re inclusive because they don’t use certain words or because of some fucking initiative, but when the whole system is built on the idea that you shouldn’t be there, it doesn’t matter much.
“Should we…tell him?”
I can see immediately that he knows what I mean, which is good. Even I don’t dare to saythisone in public. He seems undecided.
“Do you want to?”
“I…want to do this right, you know? And as two people working for the same team, I think we probably should. I don’t want them to come to us in a year or two or five and say we didn’t properly report and makethatthe problem.”
“A year or two or five, huh?”
I blush, realizing what I’ve given away. Still, Ethan deserves to know this.
“Yeah. I’m, uh, in this. You know?”
Damn, I wish we weren’t having this conversation in a public place. Ethan smiles, discretely twisting his pinkie finger with mine.
“Me, too, Jamie.”
We spendthe night at my place. I tell Ethan it isn’t necessary, especially if he’s hoping to avoid being seen there, but he just shrugs.
“Jack has a press release ready if he needs it. Oh, and he wants your agent’s info.”
“Dave? Why?”
“So they can strategize.” He rolls his eyes at this.
To be honest, I’m not sure how much longer I’ll stick with Dave. I’m appreciative of his willingness to take a risk when no one else would, but I can’t help but think about how aggressively Ethan’s agent has moved to not only protect him, but ensure his continued success. Meanwhile, Dave couldn’t even get a firm idea of who wanted to sign me this summer. I wonder if he’s taking clients.
I’m grateful for the chance to shower and change into new clothes – the clubbing outfit is starting to get a little ripe, not to mention the attention it drew on the plane.
In the morning, I tell Ethan he should head out before me, avoiding the possibility of the press capturing us together. Instead, he looks out the window and shrugs again.
“It’ll be fine.”
I take a deep breath.
“Ethan, do you…wantthem to catch us?”
He blushes abit.
“I mean…it wouldn’t be theworstthing.”
I walk over to where he’s standing by the door, grabbing his hands in mine.
“I’msohappy we’re together. And I hope it stays that way for a very long time.”
He frowns slightly.
