I laugh. “I’m sure it wasn’tthatbad.”
“Trust me, it was. I couldn’t keep it up, but I’d always blame it on being nervous. Or drunk.” He winces at the memory.
“At least you had sex in high school,” I counter. “I didn’t lose my virginity until I was twenty.”
Mason shifts closer, the corner of his mouth curling. “And was it good?”
It wasn’t. Travis hadn’t prepped me nearly enough. I was the first guy he’d ever fucked, and he had no clue what he was doing. But I’d been desperate for him to like me. Desperate foranyoneto like me. So I bit my tongue and pretended it didn’t hurt.
I slowly shake my head. “Not really.”
He’s quiet for a second, studying me. “Was it with the ex-boyfriend you talked about before? Your brother’s friend?”
I nod. “Yeah. Travis.”
“He sounds like a douchebag,” he says darkly. “I hate that he made you feel like that.”
I stare up at the blue sky, my voice low. “We met at a party Landon was throwing at our apartment. Travis was there. He was tall and handsome, and I had this massive crush on him. That night, during the party, he came into my room. He was drunk, and he kissed me. My first kiss.”
Mason watches me carefully, not interrupting.
I suck in a breath. “The next day, we had sex. And afterward, he asked me to be his boyfriend. I said yes without even thinking. I didn’t realize it then, but… it was toxic from the start. He knew I was vulnerable. He’d keep me insecure on purpose, controlling every aspect of my life, just enough so I’d be too scared to leave him.”
Mason’s jaw tightens as he waits for me to continue.
“We dated for almost a year. Then one day, out of nowhere, he broke up with me. Told me he’d been cheating on me the entire time. And then—” I swallow hard, “—he said he realized he wasn’t into men at all. That I’d just been an experiment. That he… just felt sorry for me because I was his best friend’s lonely virgin brother.”
Mason’s gaze darkens, a storm brewing in his eyes. “That’s—Jesus, Hunter. I’m so sorry.”
“I didn’t date after that,” I admit quietly. “You’re… the only other guy I’ve slept with.”
For a moment, Mason just lies there, looking at me like he’s trying to understand all the broken pieces of me. Panic seeps into my brain, and I wonder if I said too much. Maybe this is the final straw for him. Maybe he doesn’t want to sleep with someone who’s so inexperienced.
But then his hand finds mine in the space between our towels, fingers lacing with mine.
“Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me that,” he murmurs.
Heat rises to my face. “It’s embarrassing.”
He shifts onto his side, brushing his thumb over my cheek—wiping away a tear I didn’t even know had fallen. “Pleasedon’t be embarrassed. I think you’re so fucking strong, Hunter. Stronger than you know.”
I don’t say anything. I just hold his gaze, lost in the swirls of vibrant green and golden brown.
“You’re so beautiful,” he says, his forehead resting against mine. “I wish you could see yourself the way I do.”
Something in my chest cracks open. I squeeze his hand, and for the first time in a long time, I let myself believe—just a little—that maybe he means it.
***
When we climb back into Mason’s truck, I feel eviscerated, like my stomach has been sliced open and my guts are spilling out. I exposed the most vulnerable parts of myself to Mason, and somehow, despite the ugliness of it all, he’s still here.
I lean against the window, chipping at my nail polish, letting the hum of the engine fill the quiet. The faint tropical smell of sunscreen lingers between us, sticky with the memory of the afternoon.
My T-shirt is still damp, so I sit bare-chested, arms folded tight. The sun sinks low, casting gold over the empty two-lane road, while the truck’s A/C blasts too cold against my skin. I reach forward and close the vent, shivering.
Mason glances over, one hand loose on the wheel. He reaches behind his seat, fishing around with one arm until he pulls out a bundled navy blue hoodie. “Here. This one’s clean… mostly.”
I roll my eyes but take it from him. It’s soft from too many washes, the fabric warm from sitting in the sun. I slip it over my head, the scent of him wrapping around me—sunblock, lake water, and something that’s just… Mason.
