I grit my teeth. “That’s not the problem, Land. You don’t understand.”
“Then help me understand.”
I inhale a slow, shaky breath. “I know it’s hard to accept. Hell, it took me a long time to come to terms with it myself, but… your best friend abused me.”
His eyes sharpen at my words. I’ve never said it aloud before, though the weight has always been there, lodged in my gut. Back then, I convinced myself it was my fault—because I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, attractive enough. But the truth is, it was never about me.
“Travis never hit you,” Landon says stiffly.
I trace the paper sleeve around my coffee cup with a trembling finger. “Abuse doesn’t have to be physical. It was… mostly emotional.”
Landon straightens in his seat, leaning forward. “Mostly?”
My gaze finally lifts to meet him. Despite having identical eyes, our expressions couldn’t be more different: mine timid and vulnerable, his fierce and guarded.
“Remember that time I sprained my wrist?” I ask quietly, the words slicing up my throat like razors. “I told you I tripped on campus.”
He nods slowly. “Yes?”
“I lied.”
He pauses, eyes dancing between mine like he’s searching for something. “Are you saying…?”
“It was Travis,” I whisper, barely loud enough for him to hear. “He got mad at me for wearing a shirt he didn’t like. He called me a slut and yanked my wrist too hard when I tried to leave. He accused me of cheating on him—which is ironic, considering he was cheating on me the whole time.”
Landon doesn’t say anything for a moment, his throat bobbing with hard swallows. “Travis told me you made that up.”
I bite the inside of my cheek. “I had proof, Land. Screenshots. Which I would’ve shown you—if you’d cared to hear my side of the story instead of just taking his word for it.”
His jaw tightens. He studies me in silence, the weight of it hanging between us.
“You’ve known me my whole life, Land,” I continue. “If anyone knows I’m a horrible liar, it’s you. I wouldn’t lie about this.”
He stares down at his coffee, blinking rapidly. “Holy shit,” he mutters, voice barely a whisper as he finally lifts his gaze. “You’re… seriously telling the truth?”
I nod slowly.
Landon exhales sharply, dropping his elbows onto the table and burying his forehead in his hands. “I just… didn’t want to believe he was capable of that. I was mad at you, so it was easier to take his side.”
I shake my head. “Mad at me? Why?”
He lifts his glassy eyes. “Because you stole my best friend and became completely obsessed with your relationship,” he says, his voice cracking. “You and I were supposed to go through college together, but after you started dating Travis, you stopped caring about me.”
Guilt bubbles up like a pressure behind my ribs. Memory after memory slides into place—matching outfits, blanket forts in the living room, sneaking cookies from the pantry when our parents weren’t looking. When we were kids, we promised each other nothing would come between us. But the moment someone else gave me the attention I’d been starving for, I shoved my own brother aside.
I peel at the chipped polish on my nail. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “That was part of the abuse—he isolated me. He made me believe I couldn’t depend on anyone but him. He made me feel… worthless.”
He rakes a hand through his hair, frustration etched in every line of his face. “I don’t get that. Don’t you know how incredible you are? People tell you all the goddamn time.”
I freeze. “What do you mean?”
“You’ve always been the smart twin. The promising one. Valedictorian, scholarships—”
“You’re smart too,” I cut in, earnest.
“Not like you,” he says firmly. “And you’re Grandma’s favorite. She raves about you constantly. Did you know she didn’t even call me on our birthday this year? She only called you.”
My brain struggles to grasp what he’s telling me. All this time, while I was jealous of Landon, he’d been jealous of me too.
