“Wh-what. Why?” I stammer.
“Doc, she’s in so much pain, surely?—”
“I understand, but it wouldn’t be good for someone in Chiara’s condition,” he says.
My brain is scrambling to understand what he’s trying to say, Raf clearly able to articulate my thoughts.
“Her condition?”
“Chiara, your test results came back positive for higher-than-normal hCG levels. It’s very early days, but it appears you’re pregnant.”
Time stops.
I can’t feel the pain in my body. I’m weightless. If I wasn’t already lying down, I would’ve passed out for a third time today.
Today.
What a fucking rollercoaster. It feels like I took a trip to the fun fair and did a lap through the haunted house for a jump scare, laughed at myself in the trick mirror, won the major prize at the games arcade, then ate a big stick of the pinkest, sweetestcotton candy while riding the Ferris wheel watching the lights twinkle around me and the world go by from a birds-eye view.
Raf cups my face and gently brings us nose to nose, his lips millimeters from mine so I can feel his breath with each murmur,like he’s trying to breathe life back into me.
“Angel. Breathe. Chiara, listen to my voice.”
I finally register his words and focus on him.
“Chiara, it’s going to be okay. Breathe for me.”
I finally drop back into my body, aware my breathing is shallow because—broken ribs aside—I’m holding my breath. I shudder on an exhale and can’t control the tears that begin to pour down my face. I’ve cried more tears today than I have in my entire life—and that’s saying something.
Raf tugs back the covers so he can gently pull me into his lap and cradle me.
“I’m sorry to have to drop the news like this,” says Dr. Middleton. “Understandably, it can be a shock if it’s unplanned, but sometimes the best things in life are born out of the worst of times. As for recovery from your injuries, you can have some Tylenol, but don’t exceed the recommended dose and not for a prolonged period.”
Placing something on the nightstand, he says, “Here’s my contact details. Call me next week so I can discuss next steps with you if going ahead with the pregnancy is what you both want.”
I watch him leave, his words registering.
“Wh–what? Of course I want to have this baby,” I murmur before it dawns that Raf and I haven’t even discussed it. And I’m on birth control but have clearly fucked up by missing a few pills here and there with travel and work. “Raf,” I begin, avoiding his eyes, “I don’t even know if you want a family. We’ve done everything backwards. I want this baby, but I understand if?—”
He fuses his lips to mine to cut off my words, cupping my head with one hand and placing the other over my belly where new life now grows. He kisses me slowly, intentionally, and my lips part to welcome him. He pulls away and with a voice thick but sure, he starts to talk.
“Chiara, you rolled into my life like an electrical storm. Loud, dangerous, and ready to strike. And when you did, you cracked my heart wide open, making me understand that anything I had before you was not love. Nothing about our story is conventional, but it taught me that love can be freeing and feel safe concurrently. It’s a deep knowing you’ve found your better half and an all-consuming desire to discover new parts of them.” He takes a deep breath, and I don’t even try to curb the sobs wracking my body. It’s pointless.
“I found your letter,” he tells me. “And it tore me to pieces because for a moment, I thought I was going to lose you before I had a chance to tell you what I should have admitted months ago.” His eyes shine with tears, but he forges on.“Chiara Marie Princi, I love you. I love your wild and your quiet, your chaos and your calm. You are my everything, and I want it all with you. The house, the babies, the family we’ll become and the future we’ll create together. I think I loved you from the first moment you blew into my office and I promise to love you until my dying breath because you’re the missing piece that makes my whole existence meaningful.”
He pulls something out from behind the pillow. It’s a black ring box.
My eyes widen, and I roll my lip to stop myself from interrupting him.
“I wanted to do something special and extravagant to make up for not having a ring at our wedding, but we’ve never been ones for convention or doing things the glitzy and glamorous way.”
He opens the box, and inside is the most dazzling oval-cut diamond ring, with a wedding band made of diamonds and emeralds.
“You own my heart and you’re forever on my mind, but I don’t want to keep the way I love you a secret.” He takes the rings out of the box and slides on the wedding band then the engagement ring. “Will you do me the honor of wearing my rings on your finger so the whole world knows you’re mine from now until death do us part?”
“Yes,” I sob. “They’re absolutely magnificent,” I say, moving my hand so the stones can catch the light.
“Just like you, sweetheart.”
