Seth shrugged. “Me, neither.”
“It was like…when we found Silas.” Levana looked at me. “Like in the pocket.”
This time I caught myself before I nodded too hard and threw up for real all over her. “Exactly like in the pocket.”
“Justfocus, Ora,” Erith called, clapping her hands to get my attention, and it worked. “Whereare the plaques?”
I pointed my finger toward the opposite wall, right where I’d seen the queen kneel. “There.”
Russ nodded. “I got this.”
They went to the wall and started to press on it. I held my breath, gave my insides a moment to settle as I watched, hopeful—but nothing happened.
“It’s gotta be here,” Seth said, pressing his hands onto every bit of surface he could reach.
“Maybe push harder,” said Levana. “C’mon, push as hard as you can.”
So, they did.
Eventually, I went closer, too, when I felt I could stomach it, and I was parallel with the door, exactly how I’d seen in that scene, exactly where the queen had been. I closed my eyes, and in my mind I saw her, saw her face, that look of pure grief she’d thrown over her shoulder. SorawI felt it as if it were mine.
“It’s here. It should be here.” I turned as Seth moved a little to the side to give me space and pressed my hand against the cold wall, expecting it to react.
It didn’t.
“Maybe she used magic,” Russ said.
“She didn’t.” I’d have seen it—just like I did in the Distribution Room.
“Hold on, we can find it. Move back, everyone.” Erith pushed both me and Seth farther from the wall. “We just need to look carefully.Wait.”
She pressed both hands onto the wall and leaned hercheek against it as well. Analyzed every single inch while we waited and watched, touched every surface.
“There’s gotta be an opening here, or a curve, orsomething…” her voice trailed off as she turned the other way again, searching, hands flat against the smooth surface of the wall.
Meanwhile, I turned back to the middle of the room, closer to the door just to make sure I had the right spot. The moments I’d seen of this room and the White Queen had been shown to me from outside the door, from that dark corridor. I’d been looking in, and there was no other place the queen had gone, nothing else she’d touched or said or done.
“It’s not here,” said one or the other, and my heart fell all the way to my heels.
Because what if I’d made it up?
What if…none of it had even been real?
Holy Hour, it was the first time it occurred to me—butwhat ifI’d really held onto the edge of that hole that had opened on the floor, and what if it had only been a couple seconds, and what if I’d imagined the fall? What if I hadn’t gone stillward—what if I’d onlydreamed?!
My stomach turned and turned, this time for a completely different reason.
“Guys…” I turned to the others, eyes wide open, lips parted, and the words were there, on my tongue. I was going to apologize to them—because in those moments I didn’t think to wonder why the room wasidenticalto the one I’d seen while falling. I didn’t think to wonder how that could be. All I wanted to do was apologize for dragging them all the way here, for risking their lives, putting them in danger?—
“Speak, Spade, damn it!” Erith shouted, and she kicked the wall.
She kicked the wall with the side of her boot, just a tiny bit.
And then came the click.
The apology froze on my tongue. The look of pure shock froze on Erith’s face just as she was about to shout at me again.
“What was that?” Levana breathed.
