“Fuck,” she says when she’s finished—the last dregs of the orgasm still buzzing through her, her legs water-wobbly and weak. She curls her hand around Will’s shoulder for balance, scratching through his shirt as she yanks him unsteadily to his feet. “Okay, okay, come up here.”
In the bedroom she fishes a condom out of her suitcase, pushing him backward toward the mattress: She wants to make this good for him, suddenly. Wants to be the best he’s ever had. “I missed you,” he admits, his voice barely more than a whisper. It’s the first thing he’s said since he showed up.
“Yeah,” Lilly says, and tilts her face up to kiss him. “I missed you, too.”
It’s surprising at first, the size and the stretch of him. She hasn’t done this in a very long time. Lilly shifts her hips against the mattress, looking for a better angle; right away Will frowns, his body stilling on top of her. “No?”
“You’re fine,” she promises, using her knee to nudge him in the side. “Don’t stop.”
“Bullshit,” he says. “What can I—?”
“I mean it,” she says. She feels keyed up and a little hysterical, all these stops and starts. “Keep going.”
But Will shakes his head, almost imperceptible. “Lilly,” he says quietly, “tell me how to make this good.”
Lilly sighs, squeezing her eyes shut and then opening them again. “Switch,” she tells him finally, pushing gently at his shoulders. “Let me—”
Will’s eyes widen. “Yeah,” he says, pulling out of her so carefully. “Of course.”
As soon as she gets up there she can tell it’s going to work like this, him flat on his back underneath her: “Touch me,” she says once she’s settled, bracing herself against the solid planes of his chest.
Will doesn’t move. “Show me how.”
Oh, she thinks, abruptly getting it. Her stomach swoops low and dangerous. “Give me your hands,” she instructs, pressing one of them down between her legs and dragging the other one up her body, sucking two of his fingers into her mouth. Right away, Will pulls back.
“Can’t do that,” he says, shaking his head urgently, his whole body gone tense underneath her. “You can’t—”
“Or what?” she asks with a grin, rocking herself against his hand. “Sorry, just—what’s going to happen if I—?”
Will scowls. “You know what,” he says. “I don’t wanna—I mean, you gotta let me—” He takes a breath. “We’re only gonna do this the first time once, all right?”
Lilly swallows hard. “Well then,” she says, raising her eyebrows. “Do something else.”
Will’s eyes darken but he takes the direction, catching both her breasts in his free hand, working one nipple between his thumb and index finger. Lilly gasps. “Better?” he asks.
“Good,” she allows, her head dropping forward. Will’s grin is sharp and bright in the dark.
It doesn’t take long like that. It happens for them more or lesssimultaneously, Will’s face going vulnerable and open just as the orgasm crests inside her.Of course, Lilly thinks, and then for a moment or two she doesn’t think a single thought at all.
“I’m sorry about the other night,” he tells her later, the two of them lying there in the darkness; she texted Charlotte to say she’s got a headache, grabbed a couple of beers from the guesthouse fridge. “I didn’t mean—”
But Lilly shakes her head, pressing the chilly bottle against the bare skin of his side to cut him off. “I don’t want to talk about the other night.”
Will looks at her for a long moment, like he’s debating something. “Fair enough,” he finally agrees, lying back against the pillows. “How’s it going with your cousin?”
“Fine,” Lilly admits, “although he keeps asking if I want to get up at five a.m. to do morning pages.”
“Five a.m. is the best time to walk the spiritual path to higher creativity,” Will says, and for a moment Lilly is completely unsure if he’s kidding. “And the book?”
“It’s good.” Lilly ducks her head, trying not to smile. The truth is it’s been going so well she’s been almost afraid to talk about it, the words pouring out of her from an inside deeper than she knew she had. “I mean, nothing’s going to come of it, but...”
Will frowns. “You don’t know that.”
“I do know that.”
“You seem like the kind of person who’s harder on herself than anyone else is.”
“You seem like the kind of person who’s never read the comments on Instagram.”
