“Stop telling people that,” I say.
Simon and Alex give each other a look. Then Alex takes my hand, leading me to the other side of the room. “I want you to meet someone,” she says.
“Okay…”
A dark-haired guy wearing an olive shirt is standing near the television. Alex grabs his shoulder, turning him around to face me. “This is my friend Jacob,” she says. “He studies film here, isn’t that right?”
“Art history.”
“Same difference.”
He holds out his hand. “What was your name?”
“Eric,” I say.
We chat for a few minutes. Jacob is a sophomore at UChicago. Alex leaves us to get a drink, and we continue talking about recent movies we’ve seen. He has a Canon 5D Mark II and his favorite movie isInterstellar. To be honest, it’s not the most riveting conversation. Jacob seems like a nice guy, but there’s just no spark between us. Like two ships docked at different ports. He must feel the same, because at one point he checks his phone and tells me he has to meet a friend.
I wander around the party to see if I know anyone. There’s a make-your-own-cocktail bar in the kitchen. But I don’t really feel like drinking anything. I find Simon in the corner of another room, sitting rather closely with some guy, whispering into his neck. I leave him alone and go looking for Alex. There are so many rooms in this dorm. I can’t seem to find her anywhere.
Another slow song comes on. I stand near the doorway, watching people pair up as the mood of the room changes. I know I haven’t been here very long. But maybe I can slip out without anyone noticing. Simon seems distracted enough. Even Jacob appears to have found new company. He’s making out with some random guy on the sofa. I stand there for a few more minutes, pretending to check my phone. Then I decide it’s time to go.
The moment I step out of the apartment, someone calls my name. But the voice isn’t familiar. I turn around and seesomeone coming toward me. The second I recognize who it is, I go completely still.
Leighton steps out of the apartment, letting the door close behind me. His blond hair looks almost yellow in the hallway light. I don’t remember the last time we saw each other. It must have been the week after Daniel’s death. For a brief moment, I consider turning down the stairwell, pretending I didn’t hear him. But it’s too late.
“Hey, man,” he says. “Surprised to see you here.”
“Yeah, same to you.”
We don’t shake hands or anything. Even though we both knew Daniel, we’ve only met a few times.
“How have you been?” he asks.
“Alright,” I say.
Then the door opens again as another guy comes out behind him. He has short red hair and wears a gray crewneck. He must know Leighton because he walks right up to him.
Leighton puts his arm around him and says, “This is my boyfriend, Max. He’s a sophomore here.”
I look at him. “Your boyfriend?”
“Yeah, this is his place.” He points back to the apartment.
Of all the parties to show up to. The universe truly has a sense of humor. “How long have you been together?”
“Almost a year now,” he says.
“A year?”
I take this in for a moment. Because that doesn’t makes sense. Daniel passed away a year ago. Unless Leighton startedseeing this guy right after that. But how do you move on from someone that fast? Especially someone like Daniel. The moment it sinks in, my stomach starts to turn.
“Have a good night,” I say abruptly.
I head downstairs and throw open the door. The temperature must have dropped, because it’s freezing outside. I can’t believe I didn’t bring a jacket. My body shivers from the cold. The train stop is seven blocks from here. I cross my arms as I make my way down the street. The thought of Leighton fills me with anger. How could he forget about Daniel already? He basically moved on to some other guy the next day. Meanwhile, I barely go a second without thinking about him. I still look through photos of him when I’m alone. It only goes to show Leighton never cared about him the way I did. But I guess none of that ever mattered. Because Daniel still chose him in the end.
A large bus pulls up along the sidewalk. But it’s not the kind you wait at a stop for. Then the door slides open, music playing from inside. I watch as people step down in pairs, all of them dressed up for what looks like a formal. I’m about to walk off when two guys come out, holding hands, making me pause again. The one with wispy brown hair looks so much like Daniel, I think it’s him for a second. I stand completely still as he passes me, going toward the doors of the building, imagining it’s me walking next to him.
As they head inside, I find myself alone again. The street is quiet as a feeling of loneliness moves through me. I turn down the sidewalk, wishing I could disappear from this. To another timeline where Daniel was still alive.
