“We must be lucky.”
I smile and grab his hand. The Skydeck hangs over the edge of the building. There’s only enough room for a few people at a time. I step inside carefully, trying not to look down. But I can’t help it. The city stretches out like an ocean beneath our shoes. As I’m staring through the floor, Haru clenches my hand again.
“You’re scared,” he says.
“What makes you think that?”
“I can feel you shaking.”
I take in a deep breath as his fingers lace through mine. Usually, I’ll close my eyes and pretend I’m on the ground again. But I feel safe with Haru around. Like nothing bad is going to happen. We take in the skyline, pointing out different buildings, the places we want to go to next. I bet the sunrise would be beautiful from here. I wish we could watch it together. It hits me that I haven’t thought about college applications and everything that’s been stressing me out. I like having someone to spend the day with. It makes me forget the rest of the world for a moment.
There’s a silence as we watch a plane pass. Then Haru turns his head and says, “Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah,” I say.
“Why did you leave that time?”
“What do you mean?”
“Last summer when you got on the train, I asked you to stay,” Haru reminds me. “Why didn’t you?”
I close my eyes as the memory comes back.Paper wishes fluttering in trees, the two of us running through the train station, the doors closing between us.Feels like yesterday when we lost each other on the platform. “I made a promise to my friend,” I say, staring out through the glass again. “He was the reason I went on the trip.”
“You two must be close,” Haru says.
“Pretty close.”
“Were you in love with him?”
The question catches me off guard. I’m not really sure how to answer it. I stare out the window and say, “Maybe I was. But it doesn’t really matter anymore. He passed away almost a year ago.”
“I’m sorry,” Haru says. “It must have been painful, losing someone you loved.”
“Yeah, it was. Especially when he never loved me back.”
“How do you know that?”
“It’s a long story. And it’s not my favorite.”
Haru nods. “You don’t have to tell me.”
We stare out at the view again. Then I turn back to Haru, something on my chest. “I wish I had gone with you, though,” I tell him. “I think about it all the time. Sometimes, I have dreams about you. The two of us at the train station again. It all just happened so fast, you know? I really thought you were coming on with me. I didn’t mean to lose the slip of paper…” My voice trails off.
“It’s alright,” Haru says, squeezing my hand. “None of that matters anymore. We’re together now.”
“A second chance,” I say. “And I’m not leaving this time.”
Haru smiles as he leans closer. There’s a flutter in my stomach, maybe from the way he’s looking at me. His eyes reflect the lights from the city like a mirror. I wonder if he can see them in mine, too. He moves his thumb gently across my cheek. For a second, I think he’s about to kiss me. I shutmy eyes, waiting for our lips to touch. But someone taps me on the shoulder from behind, interrupting the moment. I turn around. A girl around my age is standing with a group of friends.
“Do you mind if we come in next?”
I blink and notice other people behind her. The airy silence has shifted to a chattering crowd, like switching radio stations. That’s when I realize Haru is gone. I step out of the Skydeck, scanning the room for him. There are more people in the observatory now, holding their phones in the air, taking photos of the view. I circle the floor several times, but there’s no sign of him anywhere. But I keep looking. Then I take the elevator back down, hoping to find him waiting for me.
I stand outside the entrance, watching people go in and out of the doors. I wait for a long time, but Haru never appears. It’s starting to get late. Maybe he isn’t coming back tonight. I give it a few more minutes before I head home alone.
Eight
ELEVEN MONTHS AGO
