“Yes, but I could see he loved her in a way he didn’t love me anymore. I wasn’t going to sit there being someone’s runner-up.”
I stare at her for a long time. I stare until I’m not justlookingat her, I’m actuallyseeingher. I see my mom, strong and stoic and capable. I see my mom, soft, brave and vulnerable. Everyone says there’s a moment in your life when your parent becomes more than just a parent and becomes a real person. They never said how scary that moment would be. And wonderful too.
“Can I ask you one more thing?” I say.
“Lord have mercy, please let this be the last of it,” she says, but she’s smiling.
“It’s about Dr. Bob. After everything with Dad, how are you okay with dating again?”
She pulls the bowl of eggs back toward her and picks up the whisk. “Well, first of all, I like Dr. Bob. I like him a lot and he likes me a lot. But besides that, what else am I going to do? I can’t just cut myself off from love. I’m not made that way.”
“But look what happened with Dad. Look how it ended.”
“You think because your father and I didn’t last, our love was any less real? Once upon a time, your father and I loved each other enough to make you and your sister. That alone makes all the other nonsense worth it.”
She cuts me a look that says she knows why I’m asking her about this. “I don’t know what happened with you and X, but I hope you know you can’t cut yourself off from love either.”
“I’ll be okay by myself,” I insist.
She laughs at me. “You ever hear the one about the fish that didn’t need water?”
“No,” I say.
“Me neither,” she says. She takes my dry ingredients and dumps them into the eggs and mixes them all together.
CHAPTER 56
Once and Again
GRADUATION IS Aweek later. Our valedictorian gives a speech using cheese as her primary metaphor. We started out as young, mild cheddar but have since aged into sharp, mature Gruyère. Even though some teachers and classesgrated,high school was still aGoudaexperience. She concludes that we’re leaving stinky with knowledge.
Her name is Olivia Cortez, but I only know her by reputation—supersmart, sweet, destined to do something incredible, the same way Sophie is. I wish I’d gotten to know her.
After Olivia is done with her speech, Mr. Armstrong (history teacher extraordinaire) has his boring way with us one lasttime. He delivers a speech about the history of modern warfare as it relates to us making a place for ourselves in the world. He uses phrases like “behind enemy lines” and “in the trenches.”
We all groan and wish for cheese.
Next, it’s Principal Singh’s turn. He tells us we have bright futures, because of course he does. Since our class is too big to bestow diplomas individually, he holds up an oversized symbolic diploma, presents it and declares us Bevshire High School graduates.
“Now go out and leave your mark on the world,” he says.
After the applause dies down, I get up and go to find Martin.
“We made it,” he says, as if he wasn’t sure we were going to. He throws his arm around my shoulders and kisses the top of my head.
“Do you feel ready to make your mark on the world?” I ask.
“I don’t want the world, Eves, just my piece of it.”
I follow his gaze and find Danica at the end of it. He squeezes my shoulder. “Your sister’s relationship status is single again,” he says.
“Since when?”
“Last night.”
“How often do you check her status?”
“Once a day or so. Is that stalking?”
