“I simply had the leverage in that position,” I demur, although the awe in her voice makes me feel warm and joyous.
“Why were you fighting them?” she asks.
“Why do you think?” I brace myself for the statement, the outing, the very inevitable conclusion I have feared all these years. As we walk closer to the duke’s house, we have privacy enough for the truth to be less dangerous to speak. I made a promise to her father, but shesawme. Surely, she knows now what I am.
Finally Isabeau says, “Are you enlisting in theWächter? I know they don’t accept nobles. Is that why you refuse me? Have you fallen intofinancial straits? That ruined dress ... I should’ve insisted you take my dresses. I can have them couriered to you.”
Truly? That’s what she thinks?I stare at her in amazement. People accept the thinnest ruse, partly because of the magic that protects me, but I have to wonder if it’s also because they don’t want to accept the truth.
“I knew the last Hunter’s daughter,” I offer lightly. I am not technically lying; I do know my twin quite well. “I trained with the Hunter.”
I feel as if I am throwing the obvious in front of her, as if I can give her enough clues that she will overcome the magic protecting my anonymity. I want her to know, but I promised her father that I would not tell her while she is grieving.
“Why will you not look at me?” The duke’s voice sounds as frustrated as I feel, albeit for different reasons. “I will not tell others that you were trained to fight. You might recall that I was, as well.”
I let out a loud sigh. “I have been to plenty of house parties at Maudite Castle when we were much younger. You are adept enough with a blade.”
“Adept?”
“I won’t insult you or women by adding ‘for a woman’ or ‘for a noble.’” I scan the park as we walk. We look like a young couple out for a stroll. I wish that were the truth.
“You are saying you are better than me?” The duke moves to step in front of me.
Reflexively, my hand goes to a hilt under my walking cloak. “Don’t test me right now, Isa.”
“I like testing your boundaries, love.” Isabeau’s smile slides across her face like a sunrise on a dark morning. Slowly. Invitingly. “I can propose a solution, however. Simply accept the inevitability of us. Let me love you, Gabrielle, and the matter of your secret is resolved.”
Nothing is solved, but it still takes an absurd degree of restraint to not kiss her just then. “You are a menace. I ought not like you.”
“But you still do.”
“A negligible amount. So minuscule that it would take a pack of hounds to locate that smidgen of interest.”
“Liar.” Isabeau straightens. “Say yes, love. Admit you want to be in my arms, in my home, in my heart. It’s where you belong.”
“Do you ever give up?”
“On you? Never.” Isabeau pushes my hood back slightly as she reaches up to cup my cheek in her palm. Her thumb slides over the edge of my lip. “I have loved you before I understood the word. I suspect I loved you before I knew you existed.”
“You are absurd,” I object, but my heart fills with her adoration and I return it as fervently, although I do not know the words to say it as prettily as she does. What I know is that my beloved appreciates clarity, so I say, “I will offer this.Ifyou find me at the Chathams when I am masked, andifyou are particularly striking, and if youcharmme, I might be convinced to dance with you.”
“I will be there.” Her eyes all but gleam in happiness.
I motion her forward. “First, though, I am insisting that you enter your home.”
“Alone?”
I laugh. “Yes, Isabeau.Alone.”
“What if the danger is inside the house? And you aren’t there to protect me, oh noble future soldier?” Isabeau teases, but something in the words pricks my pride.
“Do you doubt I could protect you?” I stare at her, feeling the twin desires to demonstrate just how capable I am and to beg Isabeau to think I am alreadyenough.
The epiphany comes over me: I want Isabeau to find me irresistible as myself, not once she knows I am the Hunter. And I want her to still love me once she knows I am a weapon against monsters. I am difficult to love, and yet she persists in trying.
“No doubts at all,” Isabeau says. “TheWächterwould be lucky to have you.”
“Isa?” I sound cautious, but I can’t help it. I need answers; I need assurances.
