“Please! I would still refuse marriage, but the shame ...Please, Isabeau!”
“As Her Majesty orders,” Isabeau calls back to the soldier or servant outside the door.
“Thank you.” I stare at her, feeling far too much like my heart is breaking.
“Meet me here later, or at my house ...” Isabeau stands and extends a hand to me. “Please. We can delay talk of marriage, but I cannot imagine my life without you now that I’ve kissed you again.”
I take her hand, but I release it quickly. “They’re expecting you.”
“Vows. Yes, I am aware.” Maudite stretches like a surly cat in front of the dark-red chaise. “But when should I expectyou? We are nowhere near done here.”
I ignore her questions as I straighten my dress, feeling that my laces are still snug enough and everything looks proper. “Does my hair look ...” I’m not sure of the words. “Does it look acceptable? Do I look ... fine?”
“You are stunning, although I know that is not what you mean.” Isabeau runs her hands gently over my sides, then across my chest, and down my arms. She grips both my hands in hers. “You do not look like a woman who was writhing with her lover a few moments ago.”
I tilt my head upward, lifting my chin against the flush that burns over my face. “Good.”
“After the vows, meet—”
“That was not my plan. When we do meet again, you will pretend tonight didn’t happen,” I demand.
Isabeau gives me a patronizing look. “Nonsense. I have longed for you foryears, my love. To find a woman that calls to me again, and to learn that you are the same woman I’ve yearned for ... In any guise, I want you, love. I saw you in the park, and I was smitten all over again.”
“Lust is not enough for me, Maudite. Not now.” I try to step around her, and she lurches into my path.
“Is my curse so horrifying that you would reject meagain?” Isabeau asks. “I am worthy for a tumble, but that’s it?”
I grab her shoulders in my hands, holding her still. “Your curse is not the reason, and how dare you sayIrejectedyouall those years ago!”
She stares at me and frowns. “Your father said you—”
“You never came,” I protest. “I waited, and you never came, Isabeau.”
“You sent a letter saying you never wanted to see me again,” she says in a desperate voice.
“Because you toyed with me and then you were at the theater with someone else,” I finish weakly.
“Nursing my broken heart.” She steps so close that her words are almost tangible things against my lips. “I came to the manor with a proposal and a ring, Gabrielle. The earl said you were not interested in marriage to me.”
My mouth gapes open.
“I never said that.” I pause, expecting a sense of betrayal, but I know my father. “He simply dislikes you.”
Her laughter is biting. “I am well aware.” Then she kisses my forehead, my cheeks, the tip of my nose. “I am adukenow, and the queen will give her blessing to our marriage. He cannot overrule her. We can resume our—”
“No.” The word is but a whisper, so I say it again, louder. “No, Isabeau. My father has already answered. I cannot.”
“But there is no reason to refuse me! You enjoy dancing with me. I make you laugh. I can make you writhe in desire.” Isabeau sounds so baffled that I wish I could tell her why I must refuse. “You like me.”
“Like” is such a small word for what I feel, but I still cannot agree. The thought of her being cast into the role of Hunter sends chills over me. I do not think Father is right, but I cannot risk her safety. Gently, I say, “My father has spoken, Isa. I cannot.”
Isabeau frowns, although I know she understands. Disobeying one’s family in such matters is dishonorable and insulting to the family. “I’ll ask Auntie Mor to speak to him, order him to agree if necessary. We can gain his permission. At least try.”
“The queen is waiting, Maudite,” I remind her, because everything she says is true.
But another truth—the one she doesn’t know—still stands between us. I cannot marry her, not because my father said no, but because I am afraid that his belief that my duty would pass to a spouse might be true.
“Love ...don’t. Don’t refuse me. The queen can wait. I know you stood against a monster and won. You are beautiful, passionate, witty, and not already married or betrothed.” Isabeau pulls me closer and brushes a kiss over my mouth.
